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By: Michelle Al-Nasr
Depression is more rampant among women than among men. Why?
Allah Almighty Says in a Sacred Hadeeth:“...Be mindful of Allah, you will find Him before you. Get to know Allah in prosperity and He will know you in adversity. Know that what has passed you by was not going to befall you; and that what has befallen you was not going to pass you by. And know that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and ease with hardship." [At-Tirmithi]
Every man, woman and child can suffer from depression at some point in their life, but women in particular suffer in greater numbers and are more likely to experience a more debilitating depression than men; and there are several reasons that factor into that. Throughout history and to our present day, women are responsible for the well being of the entire family and in today's society, often also responsible (at least in part) for the financial support of the family compounded with everything else. Depression is not just in our head-if’s in our hormones.
Feminism has been echoed in the West for decades and is now spreading throughout the entire world – adamantly propagating the notion that women and men are equal in all aspects, and that women are capable of doing anything a man can do. While feminism in the West has made some positives strides in realizing equality for women, such as the right to vote and equal opportunities in employment (at least from the outside view), the feminist movement has also brainwashed both men and women into believing that women are exactly like men -no difference at all.
Unfortunately, we have all allowed some of the feminist beliefs to influence us. They tell women what they should feel and how they should act, even to the extent of telling us to ignore what’s going on inside our bodies—that it plays no part in our decisions or our feelings.
But in fact, it makes all the difference. Women cannot do everything men can do, and vice versa. Examples of this are in the eggs and the sperm that the opposite sex naturally carries in their body—neither sex can produce what is natural for the other. It is impossibility in the human being. Men and women are made very different indeed. Men do not endure monthly hormone changes as women do. This fact however, does not give the implication that women are somehow incapable or unintelligent, but it does point out that these changes do impact our decisions and our emotions.
Each and every month women undergo a series of hormonal imbalances that impact their mood, emotional state and attitude in a way that doctors are only now beginning to understand.
Menstruation and PMS
The first stage in our hormonal storm is the arrival of adolescence and with it our menstrual periods. Then next comes the regular onslaught of P.M.S. which is the partner of our menstrual cycle – which most women suffer from P.M.S., by no fault or control of our own, causes us to become irritable, moody, fatigued and feel generally cruddy. It was not until the 1930s, that Dr. T. Frank, an American Gynecologist, first brought P.M.S. (better known as pre-menstrual syndrome), into the public awareness in the United States. However, we know that Allah, The Exalted, informed all of mankind about the symptoms of a woman's menstrual cycle thousands of years prior to that in the following verse which means:
"And they ask you about menstruation. Say: It is a discomfort..." [Quran 2:222]
And that it surely is. But there is more to the female hormonal roller coaster than just her monthly menstrual cycles and P.M.S. We get pregnant, some of us suffer from infertility, and we also must deal with menopause later on in our life – a full life cycle of hormonal upheavals.
Pregnancy
Women's bodies go through phenomenal changes during pregnancy in order to accommodate the living being inside their wombs. We know that there are several stages that the baby itself undergoes during its growth cycle in the womb and were described in detail in the Quran. The soon-to-be-mother also experiences many changes to her physical body, to name just a few: her heart rate increases, her oxygen uptake increases, blood volume and cardiac output increases and a hormone called relax-in is dispersed in her body causing her ligaments to stretch more easily. That's all of course, not mentioning the fact that her uterus and breasts are enlarged and the overall weight gain from the whole ordeal and everything inside her body is pushed around to make way for the growing baby. It is no less than a massive undertaking on the female body and on her hormones.
Infertility
Allah Almighty Says what means: “You will surely be tested in your possessions and in yourselves. And you will surely hear from those who were given the Scripture before you and from those who associate others with Allah much abuse. But if you are patient and fear Allah – indeed, that is of the matters [worthy] of determination." [Quran 3:186]
It is a test and a hardship for many, in fact about 10-15% of couples in the United States alone face infertility. Women are often more emotionally affected by not being able to conceive than men are. However, with the advent of many new fertility drugs and procedures available now, many more women are realizing their dreams of motherhood. However, enduring the wait and see experience of these new found medical technologies can also produce an emotionally draining roller coaster for everyone involved – and the drugs and procedures are not always successful.
Menopause
Then, of course, there is menopause. Yet again, this is another time in a woman's life when the estrogen and progesterone hormones are going crazy. The metabolism of the woman’s body slows down and many women start to forget things due to low estrogen levels. As well as many other physical changes a woman's bodies undergo during this time in her life.
Feminism vs. fact
So with all of these processes happening non-stop during a woman’s life cycle - how can anyone conclude that we are all the same? As Muslim women, we need to begin to embrace our differences with men and appreciate them. We need to understand and accept how our bodies work and how those changes do affect our mind and our emotions; but not just how — but how often. Once we do this, we will begin to recognize when we are feeling irritable and why our mood fluctuating. Recognizing these changes can help give us some understanding of how our bodies work.
Outside factors
It is no wonder that many Muslim women suffer from depression, especially in the West. We are relentlessly bombarded with ridicule that we are bag ladies held to submit to our husbands. We all know well how the media portrays Muslim women, and although we say it doesn't matter — sometimes in reality it does bother us and can play a contributing part of our depression. Add to that during our menstrual cycle we are unable to pray and we may feel overwhelmed.
The bottom line is that no one can tell you how you are supposed to feel, but commercials and magazines stand on their media driven soapbox re-iterating those same feminist beliefs – that you can do it all. But in real life, no one can do it all. We all have our limits, and we all fall short. That’s why so many women today take drugs such as Prozac, just to try to keep up—trying to ignore those changes in the body and ignore the stressed pressure telling them they can’t do it all.
Muslim women should pay attention to the hidden messages women are given and concentrate on what's important—your religion and your family. Everything else besides that is disposable. Fulfill your obligations to the best of your ability and for everything else – just take on what you can and leave the rest, while never forgetting that no matter what state you are in, you can always make Du`aa` (supplication).
Allah Almighty Says what means: “….Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people." [Quran 2:286]
