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Fatwa CenterHer father defames her and objects to her marriage
Question
first of all i will like to apologize becuz my q will b very lenghty..but i hope u will give me time. Q: my father is not a god fearing man and keeps bluffing fake talks of crime and moral conducts which his children ( i and my brother) have never done. this results in bad impression of us over the society. it did not affected my brother much, but i, as a gal, has suffered alot. my dad has also gone to strangers saying that his daughter (i) escape from home in the darkness of nite to sleep with others and make money and such tales. Wallah u alam how pious i m, but i have nevr done such. i m a girl who prayers and fasts, respects the elders and do hijab and never conceal myself infront of non mehrams.i have also memorised major parts of quran with the meaning and tajweed. the above mentioned act of my father causes many troubles in my life. i am crossed on ways, on the roads by unfamiliar men with their ill talks. there was a man in my nebor who also pulled me towards him saying that if u an do with others then y not me and worse. we fled to other country after this because it was terrible to live with him anymore. my mother filed a divorce or khula case against him which some elderly people refused to carry on saying that it will make more troubles for my mother to marry me off. my mother is trying to make me marry ever since i matured but my dad never likes anybody. recently a matter had been fixed without involving him with my uncle, but on the day before the nikah my dad went over there with his ill talks againast me which has broken the to-b tie. now i feel that due to my dad's propoganda against me, i may not get marry soon but the society has become very much threatening for me. i fear most of the men. and i feel i can b on the safe side only by getting marry. i want to knw wat can i do in this matter. my mother is taking a khula from him now, so will that nullify his rite over the issue of my marriage..can i get marry on behalf of any guardian but not fathr
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
If what you mentioned in the question is really true, then there is no doubt that this is a great affliction. Indeed, such behaviour from your father is something strange because in principle a father should act totally contrary to this, as he should be affectionate and loving to his children, especially towards his daughters.
However, we advise you to be patient; for more benefit on the excellence of patience, please refer to Fatwa 83577.
You are obliged to be kind and dutiful to your father even if he mistreats you. The fact that he mistreats you does not wave your obligation of being kind and dutiful to him. Hence, you and your mother should seek to reconcile with him, first by seeking the help of Allaah and then the help of the people whom you think can influence him.
In principle, your father is your guardian, even if we presume that your mother is separated from him, as this does not drop his guardianship over you. However, if he refuses to marry you off to a suitable and competent man, then take the matter to a Muslim judge. If it is confirmed with the Muslim judge that your father is refusing to marry you off without a sound reason, then the judge will marry you off or appoint someone to do so on his behalf.
For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 83394, 84320 and 82262.
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