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Fatwa CenterHer non-Muslim parents cause harm to her family when they visit her
Question
My parents are very difficult. They have very poor hygiene. They do not wash after they go to the bathroom and do not even wash their hands after they use the bathroom. We can hear everything through the walls and know this to be true. We put out new soap and towels for them when they visit and when they leave, it is very clear that neither the hand towels nor the soap have been used. We get sick every time they come to see us and the last 3 visits we have even contracted parasites from them. I have very young children and am some time pregnant, so this is a major concern. I have spoken to them both directly and indirectly about this issue and they lie and say the wash their hands so much that even their friends think they have an obsessive compulsive disorder. This is a lie; I remember that I was not even taught to wash my hands after the bathroom until I entered preschool and the teacher taught us! They are not Muslim and refuse to accept Islam and just smile. But when we leave the room they tell my children, you are half-such and such (their religion) or its ok to do this or this. Sometimes we overhear and now the children are getting big enough to repeat it to us. If we say anything, they lie about it. They lie about other things as well and make me feel very guilty if I try to limit their visitation. For example, they just finished a two week vacation only one hour from my house and didn't visit one time. But they want to come when my husband has a very big project and cannot afford to risk him or us getting sick and my mother cries on the phone and says it would rip her heart out to postpone her visit. I would love to keep up the ties of kinship in anyway: giving them money, calling them, sending them cards and presents, only saying kind words to them. My children's pediatrician who is not Muslim says we should not let them see the children as they are a heath hazard, but I want to make sure I give them their rights.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
Indeed you did well by being keen on being kind and dutiful to your parents and fearing to be neglectful about their rights, so may Allaah reward you. Undeniably, the rights of the parents are great and their child should be kind and dutiful to them even if they are non-Muslims; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 89975.
Among the best acts of kindness to non-Muslims parents is to call them to Islam. Therefore, you should endeavour to call them to Islam and choose the best ways to fulfill that, and you should not despair as Allaah may guide them to Islam thanks to you. For details, refer to Fatwa 83566.
However, if it is really confirmed that you are harmed by their visit or by you visiting them, then you may decrease the number of visits, and you may use other means by which you would keep ties with them, like contacting them by phone, gifting them and other methods that are not prohibited in Islam.
Finally, you and your husband should be keen on nurturing the children upon Islamic creed and morals, and protect them from being influenced by your parents or other relatives.
For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 88293 and 106089.
Allaah Knows best.
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