Asalamu likom RhumatuAllah wa baraktu,
I am writing in regaurds to a divorce matter, I married this past dec a marriage that was not agreed to until after by his family one that seemed secret I am a convert from the west and went to eygpt for the marriage paid my ticket and all in co habiting with him after marriage I found things about him that were undesireable, most important was i felt far from Allah near him, second his manners were awful, he called me stupid , talked about having a second wife during our intimate time somthing we previously discussed but walahhh when i came back to the states i asked him for divorce he gave me one talaq then told me sorry and those things and i decide that i will try but what i was realizing is this man did not see me as a partner he saw me as his property with out feelings, I did not see myself with this man anymore I did somthing not correct too after I was back I started talking to a brother that i had feelings for previously as well AstifurhgAllah!! this was not correct and i know that but i have aske him in divorce mind u we do not have paper it was sharia marraige the witnesses didnt even want to be witness cause i am a westerner, sooo as u see alot of questions, I have done wrong and he is not correct in his treament of me either does not finacially support me nothing i want divorce and he said he will never divorce me. Never and wants to insist that islam is not all happy but that to me seems like a form of slavery i told him i will never return to eygpt and just the 3 talaq he is playing biiig games and want advice, he talk to me like he is Alllah subhana Allah telling me what i will have and not have Allah forgive us and the anamostity between us I just want him to be free as well as I wish it for myself to grow my deen not be involved in pettiness Thanks for listening and look to your advice inshaAllah!! how can a community be built on this i made a biiig mistake!!
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
The marriage contact cannot be valid unless it meets certain conditions, the most important of which are the consent of the guardian and the presence of two witnesses. For more benefit on these conditions, please refer to Fatwa 83629.
Therefore, if this marriage took place without the consent of your guardian and the presence of two witnesses, then it is a void marriage.
It should be noted that if a Muslim woman has no Muslim guardian to marry her off, it is the Muslim judge who would marry her. Hence, it is an obligation to invalidate this marriage. For more benefit, refer to Fatwa 88488.
So, if this man divorces you, then this is what is required, otherwise, you should take the matter to one of the Islamic centers in your country so that they would invalidate this marriage. Nonetheless, we advise you to consult the scholars before doing anything especially in matters related to marriage.
As regards corresponding with another Muslim man, then you are very wrong in this respect because this act is forbidden in principle, in addition to this, you did that while believing that you are a married woman. Therefore, you are obliged to sincerely repent and completely avoid that man. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 87903.
Finally, we advise you to keep company with your pious Muslim sisters and seek their help in finding you a pious husband so that you will not be cheated again and fall prey to evil men.
It should be noted that you are not allowed to marry after the invalidation of your first marriage until you observe three menses in order to make sure that you are not pregnant.
Allaah Knows best.
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