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Fatwa CenterMarrying a girl born out of wedlock or obeying parents
Question
Is it permissible to marry a girl born out of wedlock? If my parents do not agree to this marriage, what should I do? I would like to clarify that this girl has good morals and manners and is well brought up and I like her. What should I do?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
It is permissible to marry a girl born out of wedlock as long as she is well mannered, chaste, and adhering to the religion, even though it is preferable to marry a girl of a good family background.
We advise the questioner to be dutiful, obedient and kind towards his parents because dutifulness to one’s parents is obligatory as it is coupled with the order to worship Allaah The Almighty Alone. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.} [Quran 17:23]
It is appropriate to obey them with regard to not marrying this girl; this is considered dutifulness to them.
Abu ‘Abdur-Rahmaan As-Sulami 
said, “There was a man whose mother ordered him to marry a woman. Later, she ordered him to divorce her. He asked Abu Ad-Dardaa’ 
about this. Abu Ad-Dardaa’ said, ‘I do not order you to divorce your wife or to be undutiful to your mother. I heard the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, say: ‘A parent is the middle one of the gates of Paradise; so cherish it if you wish, or lose it if you wish.’ Thereupon, the man said, ‘I cherish it. Then, he divorced his wife.’” [Ahmad, Al-Bayhaqi and this is his wording and At-Tirmithi: Saheeh]
The meaning of the Hadeeth (narration) is that the best means of seeking Paradise and its high rank is obedience and taking care of one’s parents.
Allaah Knows best.
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