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Fatwa CenterHe gave up the idea of marrying her after committing Zina with her
Question
Committed adultery with a muslim married on his promise and assurance of marriage and he planned a flight to the country of his residence and my Fathers (whom I got approval to marry a married man and was waiting to meet him to finish the documentation papers) He travels and returns after failing to meet my father he comes back saying that his parents refused the marriage because his first wife did nothing to deserve this 'humilation' and his father swore he will dis-own him and never allow him to set foot in his house . His father became ill due to this and his parents made him feel guilty and responsible for his Fathers health status. Now he is saying he if finding it difficult to disobey his parents as it is Haram and as for our adultery sin he will ask for repentence and will get it . Could God forgive him for deserting me after he called me his wife ? I know now that I am an adulteress but during that time I sincerely believed that he is my husband and that only legal formalities are lacking since he proposed and my Father approved
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
A Muslim woman should be cautious so that she would not be deceived by those who would play with her sentiments in order to achieve an evil purpose and a transient pleasure. There is no problem in this man promising to marry you, but he should not take this as a means for committing Zina (fornication or adultery) with you, and the fact that you allowed him to achieve that purpose is a great disaster. Therefore, you are obliged to take the initiative to sincerely repent to Allaah; for more benefit on the conditions of repentance, please refer to Fatwa 86527.
Also, the fact that that man called you his wife does not mean that you are his wife as there are some conditions for marriage that should be fulfilled so that the marriage would be valid. Indeed, we clarified these conditions in Fatwa 83629. So, he must stay away from you as long as you are a non-Mahram to him.
Besides, he is not obligated to marry you in principle. As regards his promise to marry you, it is desirable for him to fulfill it and it is not an obligation on him to do so according to the most preponderant opinion of the scholars as we clarified in Fatwa 84051.
Concerning obedience to parents in regard to not marrying a specific woman, then we have already issued Fatwa 84942 clarifying that it is not an obligation to obey them in this regard if they do not have a sound reason for objecting.
In any case, if that man decided not to marry you as a way of being kind and dutiful to his parents, then he may do so. Indeed, there are many men whom you can marry, so ask Allaah to facilitate for you a good husband and it is permissible for a woman to look for a pious husband as clarified in Fatwa 82471. You may also seek the help of your trustworthy female friends and relatives in this regard.
Allaah Knows best.
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