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Fatwa CenterAbandoning marriage for fear of bad children
Question
is it compulsory / obligatory to have children after marriage. my friend's wife wants to have children, but my friend doesn't. he says that he fears lest his children come out to be disobedient towards him i.e. not carrying out what he commands them to do. moreover he feels no need of having children, & wonders why do people give them birth. he doesn't consider the reason put forward by people for having children i.e. they are means of support in old age, as sensible, bcz there are lots of other ways of supporting oneself in old age, apart from children. & acc. to him, most, if not all, parents have this motive at the back of their mind, bcz no sensible person will spend so much of his time & money on a person (children) without expecting any return. parents are humans & they apply the policy of ‘give & take’. they aren’t Allah - the Only One who gives & doesn’t takes. so what will parents do if, after spending so much time & money on children – they get nothing out of it but regrets & sorrow had they not given them birth at the first place. what will they do then. they can neither kill them nor live with them peacefully. they will be experiencing hell in present life, bcz torment of hell cannot be averted, & same is the case here. so again : why children,
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
Having children is one of the most important objectives of legislating marriage in Islam; it is for this reason that there are many religious texts that encourage the Muslim men to marry the woman who is very prolific and that highlight the bounty of having offspring. In this regard, please refer to Fatwa 90092.
Also, the Sharee’ah included the lineage (offspring) among the five necessities that must be protected. Therefore, it becomes clear that having children is not only an obligation but it is a dire necessity and this is very clear. If the people follow the meaningless logic of that man, then the result would be the extinction of the human race, and this statement cannot be said by a rational person.
It is for this reason that the scholars stated that it is not permissible for the spouses to opt for permanent birth control as already clarified in Fatwa 86967.
As regards the children being helpful to their parents when they are aged and that the parents will be in need of them, then this is one of the numerous benefits of having children but it is not the only benefit so that this person who is psychologically defeated wants to refute.
In addition to this, not having children due to fearing of having a child who will cut kinship relations with his parents is a weak excuse and if all the people think this way, they would leave out many matters on the pretext of the disadvantages that they might have. So, people would abandon marrying in principle out of fear that the man will have a wife with bad manners and that he will be afflicted by her. A person would also abandon his trade out of fear that he will incur a loss in his business, and a farmer would abandon plantation because of the epidemics that could affect his plantation, and so forth. As a rule, our worldly life has both advantages and disadvantages and it is never free from unpleasant things.
Moreover, if a father expects such a child, then this would lead to many good things. For instance, he would be keen on supplicating Allaah to bless him with a pious wife who would help him in the nurturing of his children. He would also be keen on supplicating Allaah to bless him with pious children as Allaah Says about the characteristics of the slaves of the Most Beneficent (what means): {And those who say, “Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us a leader [i.e. example] for the righteous.”} [Quran 25:74]
Then, if one is blessed with children, he should endeavor to nurture them in a good manner so that they would be obedient children, and he will be rewarded for that.
On the other hand, if we presume that he is afflicted with a disobedient child, then if he is patient with this affliction, this will wipe out his sins and raise his status. Abu Hurayrah 
narrated that the Prophet said: ''The believing man or woman continues to be afflicted in person, children and property until the one of them may meet his/her Lord free from sin." [At-Tirmithi]
Besides, there are many advantages in patience, which you may refer to in Fataawa 85445 and 83577.
Allaah knows best.
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