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Fatwa CenterHer parents are too strict with her
Question
How to deal with Parents,who dont allow freedom of meeting friends and going out,and the parents who think that daughters life starts after marriage,so before that she is not allowed to take her decisions or go out with her companions but stay at home always.Though educations is granted and working is allowed. There is no presence of a Head that can explain them,so the daughter has to live a life of suffocation and loneliness.At times she wants to go for gatherings but her views are not respected,she is been abused by saying that do when you will have your own life that is after marriage. last but not the least,there is no proper understanding or affection in family,so that a daughter can explain them,because the parents follow their parents,who didnt care about their feelings much.What the daughter does is just pray,but she still feels dissapointed. Thankyou
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
Parents are compassionate towards their children in general, and towards their daughters in particular; they are like this by Fitrah [natural predisposition upon which Allaah created mankind]. This compassion may even increase when there is too much corruption and reasons for temptation. Hence, parents become even more overprotective and strict regarding their children going out of the home, even regarding males, let alone females.
Based on this, this sister should find excuses for such conduct from her parents and try to think good of them as much as possible, assuming that they are doing this for a good reason.
Nevertheless, parents should not treat their daughter unjustly; they should not prevent her from education or work that abides by Islamic requirements, or from going out with trustworthy female friends when there is no fear of temptation or suspicion. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 82399 and 82431.
On the other hand, we advise the daughter to be patient with her parents, and to be kind and dutiful to them. She should not mistreat them by any kind of mistreatment as it is the right of the parents upon their children that they should be kind and dutiful to them in all circumstances. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 84942 and 87019.
Indeed, she should be gentle with them as this might help in winning their hearts. She may also seek the help of some rational and righteous people who may influence them in regard to what she wants to convince them of, provided that this is in what is permissible.
As regards the disappointment that is mentioned, then she should repel that and take it easy and be keen on spending her time in what benefits her in her religion as well as her worldly matters. Besides, she may keep contact with her righteous and pious Muslim sisters with the different means of communication in a way that she benefits them and avails herself of them. She should be keen on what is good for her and not surrender to the whispers of the devil or to her desires. Abu Hurayrah 
narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “A strong believer is better and is more beloved to Allaah than a weak believer, but there is good in both of them. Strive to attain that which will benefit you and seek help of Allaah and do not feel helpless. However, if a misfortune befalls you, do not say: "If I had done such and such, it would have been better'', but rather say: ''Allaah predestined so, and whatever Allaah wills will happen”, as the subordinating conjunction ''if'' opens the doors of the devil.'' [Muslim]
Allaah Knows best.
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