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Fatwa CenterShe investigates her husband's intention in an indirect pronouncement of divorce
Question
Please help. I suffer from whispers.If my husband jokes with me that if it is so hot here then go to your parents house i start having whispers that did he or did he not mean divorce. He knows i suffer from doubts and whispers so I always ask him you did not mean "That" right?. I use the word "That" instead of the word divorce and my husband knows that. He always says no i did not mean "That" do not be crazy. He never uses the word divorce and uses the word "That". One day again i asked him about a random thing he said, you didn't mean "That" right?He teased me and said yes i meant "That". this happened three times he saying yes i meant "That" on different occasions. He never ever intends divorce and he was just teasing me. Does he saying yes i meant "That" counts as divorce? Please answer me, i worry too much about this. May Allah reward you
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
In Islam, divorce is in the hands of the husband and not in the hands of the wife. The husband is the reference in matters which depend upon his intention. The wife should not ask her husband about his intention because this consists in a kind of overscrupulousness and it strengthens the whispers within her.
If there is any sin, it is the husband who bears it and Allaah knows his intention and will hold him accountable for it.
Ibn Qudaamah 
said: "If the husband and wife disagree and the husband says: I did not intend to give you the right to divorce yourself as I did not authorize you with this, and she said: No, rather you intended divorce, consideration is given to his statement as he is more aware of his intention and there is no way to know it except from him." [End of quote]
Therefore, if he intended divorce by that indirect pronouncement of divorce, then divorce took place, and his words "I meant that" are of no effect, and if he did not intend divorce by the indirect pronouncement of divorce, the divorce did not take place, nor does the divorce take effect by him saying afterwards, "I meant that", even if he meant by "that" divorce, because in that case, he would have been relating a past pronouncement of divorce falsely, and the preferred opinion is that divorce is not effective in that case.
You should know that you will be in a better state if you repel these whispers and do not get carried away with them. The matter about this divorce does not concern you. It is not wise to investigate matters that could cause you distress and hardship. You should seek refuge in Allaah from the accursed devil if you experience any whispers. You should remember Allaah as much as possible, especially in the mornings and evenings, and perform Ruqyah.
For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 119544 and 164315.
Allaah Knows best.
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