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Fatwa CenterDealing With a Wife Who Harbors Unfounded Suspicion
Question
I have been married to my wife for 15 years and I have 5 kids and lately she has been thinking of me in bad terms and bad faith.whatever I do always interpreted as something bad or it has bad connection and I am not honest, loyal or trustworthy. She adoids speaking to me. She doesnt rply to me unless it is an important mater. Total ignorance and I feel like I am lost in the middle of everything. I dont know what to do I prayed istikhara for so many things but i am still confused and lost. JAK
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad (ﷺ) is His slave and Messenger.
Harboring ill suspicion of a fellow Muslim has been explicitly prohibited. Allah the Exalted says (what means): {O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin…} [Quran 49:12]
This prohibition is even more emphatic between spouses due to the special bond between them and what is required of them in terms of good companionship and proper conduct. If your wife harbors ill suspicion toward you without any clear evidence, then she is blameworthy for this behavior and incurs sin by it.
We advise you to be patient with her and to look into the reasons that may have led to this. If any such reasons are found, efforts should be made to address and remedy them, and you should avoid anything that could give rise to suspicion on her part, for it is from the character of a believer to keep away from doubtful matters. If no clear cause exists, then she should be advised, reminded of Allah, and made aware of the seriousness of such suspicions, and assistance may be sought in this matter from some of those close to her.
You did not mention what you performed istikhārah for. In general, istikhārah is prescribed when a person intends to undertake a permissible matter and is unsure where the benefit lies, so he asks Allah to choose what is best for him. Whatever outcome occurs after performing istikhārah is good for him—whether the matter comes to pass or he is turned away from it.
Allah knows best.
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