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Fatwa CenterSister is difficult to get along with
Question
I belong to a Muslim family, Al Hamdulillah. We are 3 sisters and 1 brother. My eldest sister got married and she got divorced within that year. Since 3 years after that she is living with us. My 2nd elder sister and I face a lot of stress due to her. Before marriage she used to get jealous of us both it was minor, but after divorce, her condition is worse and on each and everything is she complaining that we do not care for her we do not treat her equally. For example, if we all are going to eat no body calls us to eat; we prepare everything and we sit to eat but always we should ask her to come. She is a bit fat for than me. If I exercise she start fighting that I exercised, because if she did not exercise that day I should not do it. We are trying our best to be patient with her, but she will not stop fighting or shouting until we cry. Then she leaves the room and sit in another room and she complains again that we should go and beg her to come and sit with us. I am doing most of the house work (as my mother is gone to our home land) and very rarely does she help if she is in the mood. I do not have time to please her. She is praying 5 times a day and if she find me doing Zikr or reading Qur’an she gets depressed that she is not doing it at that moment. Please help us in the light of Qur’an and Sunnah.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
It is among the noble qualities of a Muslim to tolerate the shortcomings of his Muslim brothers especially if they are relatives. The Prophet said: “The Muslim who mixes with people and bears their harm is greater in reward than the Muslim who does not intermix with them and does not tolerate their harm.” [Ahmad and At-Tirmithi] The wording of At-Tirmithi's reads: “He who mixes with people and endures the harm they do is better than he who does not mix with them or endures the harm they do.”
Therefore, we advise you to be patient with what you are facing from your sister. However, you may advise her in a wise and pleasant manner, and with soft and sweet words. The Prophet said: “Whenever tolerance is added to something, it beautifies it, and whenever it is withdrawn from something, it leaves it defective.” [Muslim]
Above all, keep in mind that she is older than you and this entitles her to be respected by the youngsters. The Prophet said: “Whoever does not respect the elders is not one of us.” [Ahmad]
Allaah Knows best.
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