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Fatwa CenterParents do not approve of her choice for marriage
Question
I am a 22 year old girl from an Arabic country who wants to marry a Muslim guy, He is not Arabic so my parents said no, His family is a very religious family, Please tell me what to do? I don't want to go against them, but he is a good Muslim and he treats me well and loves me a lot. My parent's aren't getting convinced. I tried a lot and at the end they hit me. Please help.
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
If this person is pious and of good character, then it is a not appropriate that your parents refuse his proposal.
The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: “If a man whose religion and character you are satisfied with, proposes to marry one of your (females) marry him. Otherwise, there will be temptation and great corruption on earth.”
This is why the guardian who turns away several men of good religion and character proposing to marry his daughter, is obliged by the Qadi to accept marrying her.
So, you have complete right to endeavour by all legal means so that your parents accept your marriage, provided this man is pious and of good character and provided you think that he will be a good husband to you. But you should act with wisdom and tact.
First, make it clear to your parents – directly if possible – or through an uncle, a brother or anyone whom they trust, that you want this man to become your husband and there are no legal impediments against that, as the best is the most pious.
Second, if your father persists on his stand, talk to him and tell him this will be considered as voluntary and intentional prevention of a girl from marriage which is unacceptable.
Third, as a last resort you may expose your case to a court and we think the ruling will be in your favor.
What we suggested, is on the assumption that this man is pious and of good character. But if he is not of the above, then he does not deserve all that. Avoid exposing yourself to a problem with your father. May Allah ease your matters. We draw your attention to the following:
1) Do not do anything before you make Istikhara as suggested by Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam).
2) Know that the Wali (guardian) is a condition of the validity of the marriage contract. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: “No marriage contract (is valid) except with the consent of the Wali and two trustworthy witnesses. Any marriage done without the above conditions is invalid.”
3) Beware from having any relation with this man until your marriage contract to him is announced. Indeed, prior to that he is considered an alien to you. Any contact with him beyond the legal boundaries can result in disastrous consequences. Satan drags people to sin by simplifying it to those people. Now, when they commit the small sin, they cannot stop and end up committing obnoxious sins.
Allah knows best.
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