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Fatwa CenterFed up with the behaviour of father-in-law's friend's wife
Question
My father-in-law lives in an Arabic country and we live abroad, his closest friend was send for training to the same country we are living in now, he came with his family (wife and kids), my husband told me that we should be very good with them greet them and support them and help them until they get used to the country. Every time I visit this lady she starts talking about this and that and say all people's secrets and stab them in the back, and when she gets mad she starts insulting her husband in front of us, step by step she began to shouts at me if I go somewhere without telling her, and she wants to control every one around her at the beginning I took it easy, I thought she was just upset from something but she began to act worse each time, she swears in front of her children and me and my husband, she also yells at her husband all the time, I always forgave her until she insulted me when I last time visited her in front of another lady, I was at a work shop for families that day and then I had to go by bus to my house but I didn't have change, her house was close, I went to ask her for money and told her where I was, she told me why didn't you tell me and started yelling at me in front of the other women, she even said things I can't pronounce, I left her house crying because I didn't expect that she would go that far, since that time I didn't go to her house, I would like to know how to deal with this, I can't keep visiting her, in my family we respect each other and we never say bad words at all, and I can't keep visiting her for the sake of my father-in-law, I'm really confuse I hope you understood me! Please tellme what do I do?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
If this woman is as it has been stated in the question, then there is no harm if you cut relations with her while observing the right she has on you as a Muslim. The Prophet 
said: "There are five rights which one believer should display to another: He should respond to his Salaam (greeting), he should visit him when he is ill, be present when he dies-and this is peculiar to men-, accept his invitation when he gives one, and should say 'may Allah have mercy on you' when he sneezes (and thanks Allaah)." [Al-Bukhari] Imaam Muslim 
stated a sixth right which is: "If he seeks your advice, advise him." So these are the rights that you should observe towards her. If she is sick, you have to visit her, if you meet her, salute her with salaam, and if she sneezes and says Al-Hamdu Lillaah' (all thanks are to Allaah), you have to tell her: 'may Allaah have mercy on you'; apart from this, you do not have to socialize with her.
We advise you to make an effort to advise her by giving her beneficial books and tapes which speak about the dangers of backbiting, the rights of the husband, good moral standards and other Islaamic high standards. May Allaah guide her, and your husband has to understand the situation and help you in this matter.
Allaah knows best.
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