If You Have a Child, Be a Child With Him

02/04/2009| IslamWeb

 My friend said to me,

I was pregnant with my first child. One day, my husband and I went on a picnic. In the park that we went to, we saw a man kneeling and playing with his child who was still crawling. My husband criticized the action of this father, and it seemed as if he pitied him for being criticized by other people who were visiting the garden as well. I said to him jokingly, 'We’ll see. One day when our baby arrives, you will do what he is doing.' Denying what I said, he replied, 'Me! That is impossible!' The months of pregnancy ended and I gave birth to our first daughter. She grew and started to crawl. My husband would carry her on his back and kneel before her to play with her face to face. One day, while I saw him doing this, he was also extending his legs for her as a seesaw. When I reminded him of that situation in the garden, he laughed, and said, 'You are completely correct. Hearing is not like seeing.' I laughed with him, and said, 'No, buta person who has a child must adopt a childish attitude with him as the Messenger of Allah, , said. As this Hadeeth complies with sound human nature, you did what you considered two years ago to be impossible, O my husband!

 

Dr ‘Ali Al-Hammaadi, founder and chairman of the Creative Thinking Centre in the United Arab Emirates, explains some of the benefits of this noble Hadeeth, saying,

 

Each person goes through different stages during his life time and every stage has its distinctive features. The child's nature is different from that of the youth; the youth's different from that of the aged person; the man's nature is different from that of the woman and so on. Hence, a person should deal with others in a way that suits the nature of each one's stage of life. Also, he is required to allow each one to live his stage. The child needs to satisfy the desire for entertainment and play; the woman needs pampering, the parents need dutifulness, and so on.

Some people make a mistake when they want a child to act like a man, and thus do not allow him to be entertained or to play; or they treat woman roughly like a man. This is not right because it contradicts human nature. This could also lead the person to grow up in an abnormal way and the signs of such disturbance might appear during the advanced stages of life.

The Messenger of Allah, , would play with children and entertain them. It was proven in authentic Hadeeths that he kissed his son Ibraaheem, may Allah be pleased with him, and smelled him. It was also proven that he once prolonged his prostration for a considerable period of time, and when he was asked about the reason why he did so after he had ended the prayer, he replied: “My child mounted me while I was prostrating and I hated to disturb him.” That child was Al-Hasan, the son of Faatimah, may Allah be pleased with them both, who was the daughter of the Prophet, . It was also narrated that he would put a child on his lap and the child would even urinate on him, but he would simply sprinkle water on the place of the child's urine, without alarming the child. Likewise, it has been related that he carried Umaymah, the daughter of his daughter, Zaynab, may Allah be pleased with them both, on his shoulder while praying.

In a Hadeeth on the authority of Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allah be pleased with him, he said, “The Prophet once came while he was carrying Al-Hasan, may Allah be pleased with him, on his neck. A man saw him, and said, ‘Dear boy, you have mounted the supreme transport.’ The Messenger of Allah replied:‘And the finest rider is he.’” [Al-Haakim] In another Hadeeth on the authority of Abu Salamah ibn ‘Abdur-Rahmaan, may Allah be pleased with him, he said, “The Messenger of Allah would stick out his tongue before Al-Hasan ibn ‘Ali, may Allah be pleased with him. Upon seeing the redness of his tongue, the child would be delighted." [Ibn Sa‘d] In a Hadeeth on the authority of ‘Abdullaah ibn Az-Zubayr, may Allah be pleased with him, he said, “Al-Hasan ibn ‘Ali, may Allah be pleased with them, was the dearest to the Prophet from among his family and the one who resembled him the most. Once, while the Prophet was prostrating, I saw him coming and riding on his neck or on his back. The Prophet would not bring him down until the child wanted to get down. [Moreover], while he was bowing, I saw him widening his legs so that the child would be able to come out from the other side.”  [Ibn Sa‘d]

In a Hadeeth on the authority Jabalah ibn Suhaym, he said, “I entered upon Mu‘aawiyah ibn Abi Sufyaan, may Allah be pleased with him, while he was the caliph. I saw a rope on his neck and a child who was pulling him. I said to him, ‘O Commander of the Believers, what are you doing?!’ He made a gesture indicating that I did not understand the situation, and said, ‘Keep silent, for I heard the Messenger of Allah saying:‘If you have a child, adopt a childish attitude with him.’” [Ibn Abi Ad-Dunya and Ibn ‘Asaakir]