A Recipe for Marital Bliss

04/05/2014| IslamWeb

Marital bliss is the precious pursuit of every family and an easily attainable goal for every one who is keen on it and pursues it. A happy family is the source of giving, security, peace of mind, and the way to success. Here we will present a useful recipe for marital bliss:

 

First, it is the custom that a man feels jealous over his wife. Sometimes, we hear about a woman who feels extremely jealous over her husband from his mother, sisters and many other matters in which it is inappropriate to feel jealous over. Sister, there is a wise saying that states “If you want to be obeyed, then ask for what is affordable.”

 

Second, usually make your husband feel secure and confident and let him know that you wish that you live with him and your children forever. Also, try to keep away from grudges and do not belittle what he does or buys, or belittle him, his job or education. If you do so, you will destroy all the factors of love and respect between you.

 

Third, why do we master talking kindly with people outside our families but fail to do so with our husbands and children? We hope that a change in any aggressive way of speaking with the husband and children occurs, and that we speak calmly and logically in matters which are of benefit instead, and not repeat our words uselessly. One should avoid supplicating to Allah against the husband and threatening him. These two ways result in nothing but further grudges and problems. Rather, one should substitute arguments with understanding and bad supplication with advice and guidance. If we try this approach we will certainly attain success, Allah willing.

 

Fourth, no matter how long you have been married, do not neglect your appearance or the cleanliness of your home, and especially the bedroom. In this room the person is born, brought up, married and has children. So, you should not let it look old and worn out or be the worst place in your home that has a bad odor on the bed, curtains, carpets, and so on, due to lack of ventilation. So, you should ventilate your home especially the bedrooms and be keen on maintaining the cleanliness of your home. Do not regret the time and effort spent in looking after your husband and children. You should also not get angry with their repeated faults that you might think of as ingratitude. Rather, be like the date palm-trees whenever people throw stones at them, they throw the best fruit in return.

 

Fifth, you should conceal all your secrets. Believe me dear sister, your disclosing your marital secrets to your friends will not benefit you. On the contrary, it belittles you before them and they will not respect you. You should beware of arguing with your husband in front of the children. Avoid anger! We can get accustomed to tolerate things. I ask you also not to embarrass him or complain about him to his family.

 

Sixth, I beseech you to erase the phrase “Divorce me!” from your dictionary. Divorce would not give you comfort especially after having children. The husband is usually prudent and does not respond to the quarreling of the wife. However, the outcome of this dispute is sowing the seeds of worry and permanent fear in the children. Dear sister, divorce is the cause of the misery of the children, the delinquency of daughters, the misery of the wife and the deterioration of the marital life.

 

Seventh, do not ever lie to your husband and do not disobey him in any matter unless it is an act of disobedience to Allah The Almighty. If you fear his severity, do not tell him about what happened while he is angry. Rather, when he is calm say to him “I have a confession to make but promise me not to be harsh on me in order that I may not hide anything from you in the future.” In this case, he would definitely be wise and the situation would be in your favor, Allah willing. Hence, your children would be truthful and honest and would not fear to say the truth. You should remember that admitting the truth is a virtue.

 

Eighth, be keen on holding a family meeting bi-weekly that the children’s father would speak in the first one and you would speak in the second. You should instruct your children in the form of a kind demand. You should urge your children to be successful in the form of aspirations such as, “We hope to see you in such and such a state.” You should avoid the bad way of reproaching, threatening, and holding them in comparison with other children. These approaches make the children feel deficient. Accordingly, these approaches will result in negative results. You should always let your husband and children hear the word Alhamdulillaah (praise be to Allah), praise be to Allah that He made us one family and granted us His great favors. You should enumerate the favors of Allah so that they would realize them and feel content and happy. You should remind them of Allah The Almighty and the greatness of these favors that He bestowed upon you.