The Married Couple in Ramadan

20/06/2011| IslamWeb

The blessed month of Ramadan carries sublime implications for human life in general and the marital life in particular. It is a great opportunity for the spouses to draw closer to each other and for all family members to maintain kinship ties.

Gathering on obedience and worship in an atmosphere of faith increases love and affection in marital life. It is a true opportunity to lead a sublime marital life.

 

There are wonderful lessons in the month of Ramadan that the spouses can benefit from, including:

 

-      Patience, generosity, forbearance, tolerance and other general noble morals.

-      The spouses should persevere to benefit from this month from the outset, so that the goals and wisdoms behind the legislation of this act of worship during that month is achieved. They should consider the blessed month a training course.

 

They should learn the following from this training course:

 

-      Open-mindedness, acceptance of each other and mutual sharing of feelings.

-      Just as you gather to have the Iftaar (fast-breaking) and Suhoor (pre-dawn) meals, you should gather on obeying Allah The Almighty.

-      You should care to show your feelings of love, affection and closeness. The couple should try to remove any misunderstandings in order not to mar the atmosphere of worship in Ramadan. Always remember the Hadeeth of our beloved Prophet, : "When anyone of you is observing fasting, he should neither use obscene language nor raise his voice; and if anyone reviles him or tries to quarrel with him, he should say, 'I am fasting.'"

-      Just as you plan for the Iftaar meal, you should plan together for happiness and a life that pleases Allah The Almighty.

-      Treat the children and family members generously and kindly, take care of them and avoid raising your voices and getting irritable. Remember the Hadeeth in which the noble Prophet, , said: "Whoever draws nearer to Allah by performing any of the acts of goodness in this month shall receive the same reward as is there for performing an obligatory deed at any other time; and whoever observes an obligatory deed in this month shall receive the reward of performing seventy obligations at any other time."

-      Practical training on having sublime morals, starting from forgiving other's faults, tolerance, apologizing, forbearance and keenness to do the acts of the Sunnah as well as other Sharee‘ah etiquettes.

-      Cooperation in worship by reviving the Sunnah of performing the voluntary night prayer along with the children and the husband. They should also be keen to constantly recite the Quran.

-      Generosity and giving to the poor and the needy. The Prophet, , was generous and he would his highest degree of generosity during Ramadan.

 

Forms of spousal convergence during Ramadan:

 

-      ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, reported, "When the last ten days of Ramadan came, the Prophet would stay up all night, wake his family and gird his loins."

-      He also ordered seeking Laylat-ul-Qadr (the Night of Decree). In a Hadeeth, he said: "Seek Laylat-ul-Qadr in the last ten days of Ramadan."

-      ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said, “I said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, if I know which night is Laylat-ul-Qadr, what should I say on that night?’"He said: "Say: Allahumma innaka ‘afuwwun tuhibbul-‘afwa fa‘fu ‘anni (O Allah, You are Ever Pardoning and You love pardoning, so pardon me)." [At-Tirmithi]

 

Gather on obedience:

 

-      The spouses should rightly seize the opportunity of this blessed month and make a plan together to observe the prominent of righteous deeds: recitation of the Noble Quran, giving in charity, observing the voluntary night prayer, supplication, performing the prayer in the Masjid (Mosque), and so on. The husband should teach his wife and children the virtues of this great month. He should revise with them the rulings and etiquettes of fasting and urge them to give in charity, recite the Quran, maintain kinship ties and do other righteous deeds.

 

How to love your husband in Ramadan

 

1-   Do not be stingy in showing your love for your husband daily, just as you offer him daily delicious meals.

2-   Do not think that love entails that you offer big material sacrifices. Rather, you need to offer greater moral and spiritual sacrifices. So, be morally and spiritually generous with your husband and you will own him.

3-   Thank your husband for his care, kindness and generosity. Do not treat him on the basis that he is obliged to take care of you, for this will diminish his care for you as time passes. 

4-   Be fully convinced that gold, money, authority and a luxurious lifestyle are valueless when there is no love. A life which is full of love is the successful marital life. Without love, the chances of a successful marriage are almost non-existent. 

5-   Grant your husband a different Ramadan as well as a different, or rather wonderful, marital relationship during this blessed month. You should seek the reward from Allah The Almighty for each word, deed and smile.