The Benefits of Purposeful Socializing

13/08/2012| IslamWeb

A Muslim woman should not say, “What do I have to do with people? I leave them alone and I do not interfere in their private affairs.” We are required to do take an interest in the well-being of our fellow Muslims in permissible worldly matters, even though a part of the perfection of one's Islam is his leaving that which does not concern him. As for matters which imply certain danger to the morals of others (even if they are worldly matters) one is required to offer advice, because offering advice with whole-hearted concern is an essential pillar of the religion.

A believing woman is required to offer advice and invite people to her religion as much as she can. The story of the noble Companion, Umm Sulaym, may Allah be pleased with her, in this respect is a wonderful example:

Umm Sulaym, the mother of Anas ibn Maalik, may Allah be pleased with them, was one of the early converts to Islam from among the Ansaar (Helpers). After her husband's death, Abu Talhah, may Allah be pleased with him, proposed to her when he was still a polytheist. She said to him, "O Abu Talhah, do you not know that this deity whom you worship grew out of the earth?" "Of course," he answered. She said, "Do you not feel ashamed to worship a tree? If you become a Muslim, I will accept you as a husband, and will not ask for dowry other than your acceptance of Islam." He replied, "I will think about the matter." He went out and then returned saying, "I bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah." Thereupon, she said to Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, "O Anas, approve the marriage proposal of Abu Talhah," so Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, gave her away in marriage to him. [Al-Haakim]

It was a noble dowry for a woman who was a noble caller to Allah. She called Abu Talhah, may Allah be pleased with him, to worship Allah Alone and abandon polytheism. Allah The Almighty opened his heart for Islam and accepted it, and what a noble dowry it was!

The Children of Isra'eel were destroyed because they abandoned the virtue of enjoining good and forbidding evil. Allah The Exalted Says (what means): {They used not to prevent one another from wrongdoing that they did. How wretched was that which they were doing.} [Quran 5: 79]

To avoid people due to the belief that they are not righteous, is like the old adage which says, "The last resort for curing is cauterization." That is because when we avoid people because we feel that our souls are purer than theirs, our hearts, characters and intellects are better than theirs, in such a case we have not accomplished anything constructive or beneficial. Rather, we have chosen for ourselves the easiest road that requires the least effort.

Real greatness is when one intermixes with those people, is filled with a spirit of tolerance and sympathy for their weakness, non-observance and mistakes, as well as a spirit of true willingness to purify, educate and elevate them to a higher level as much as we are able.

As such, when a pious woman adheres to righteousness and is committed to the Sunnah (tradition) and firmly follows it, she is required to contribute in calling to what is good among women. This is a religious obligation and a woman is considered guilty if she falls short in this. Regardless of one's level of piety, each one is required to do as much as one can for the cause of Islamic propagation, using kind words and wisdom. Addressing His Prophet Allah The Exalted Says (what means): {So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you.} [Quran 3: 159]
She is kind to those who are around her, respects the old and is merciful to the young. She does not forget that she seeks a sublime goal and exerts her best to achieve it using a manner that satisfies Allah The Almighty and leads to successful results.

As such, our call should be in conformity with the verse in which Allah The Exalted Says (what means): {Call to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction, and argue with them in a way that is best.} [Quran 16: 125]

• Reconciliation among believing women:

When the devil works to sow seeds of enmity among Muslim women, we should eliminate it by reconciling them. Eliminating enmity stands as evidence behind the sublimity of the soul which works to spread affection and love among others. In doing so, concord replaces disputes and maintaining ties replaces boycott. That is why the degree of the person who reconciles people is better than the one who constantly performs voluntary fasting, prayer and charity.

It was narrated on the authority of Abu Ad-Dardaa’, may Allah be pleased with him, that he said, "The Messenger of Allah said: 'Shall I tell you a virtue better than voluntary prayers, fasting and charity?' They (the Companions, may Allah be pleased with them) replied in the affirmative. He said: 'Reconciling people, for hatred and enmity uproot good deeds, just as a razor removes hair.'" [Al-Bukhari, Muslim]

According to another narration, the Prophet said: "It (hatred and enmity) is the razor. I do not say that it shaves off hair, but it shaves off religion."

That is because planting enmity among others leads to desertion and cutting off ties among Muslims which is prohibited under Sharee'ah. It was narrated that the Prophet said: "It is not permissible for a Muslim to desert his (Muslim) brother for more than three days. They meet each other and both of them turn away, but the best of them is the one who starts with the greeting of peace." [Al-Bukhari, Muslim]

Warning against grudge and desertion and indicating that Allah Is Angry with the disputing persons until they agree to reconcile, the Prophet said: "The gates of Paradise are opened on Mondays and on Thursdays, and every servant [of Allah] who associates nothing with Allah will be forgiven, except for the man who has a grudge against his brother. [About them] it will be said, 'Delay these two until they are reconciled,' thrice." [Muslim]

When alienation occurs between two Muslim women, we should hasten to reconcile them and encourage them to overlook each other's faults. A Muslim woman is required to accept her Muslim sister's apology and not turn her face away insisting on desertion and declining to accept her apology. As the Messenger of Allah indicated, the worst among people are those who neither overlook faults nor accept an apology.

It was narrated on the authority of Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allah be pleased with him, that he said,

The Messenger of Allah said: "Shall I tell you who are the worst of people?" They (the Companions, may Allah be pleased with them) said, "Yes, if you wish, O Messenger of Allah." He said: "The worst among you is the person who distances himself from others; and who whips his slave; and does not give in charity. Shall I tell you who is worse than that?" They said, "Yes, if you wish, O Messenger of Allah." He said: "He is the person who hates people and they hate him. Shall I tell you who is worse than that?" They said, "Yes, if you wish, O Messenger of Allah." He said: "Those who neither overlook any mistake, nor accept apologies, nor forgive faults. Shall I tell you who is worse than that?" They said: "Yes, if you wish, O Messenger of Allah." He said: "It is the person whom others give up on him and do not expect any good from him, and are fearful of the harm that comes from him." [At-Tabaraani]

The role of Muslim women in achieving reform is summarized in the following:

• Reforming yourself by getting rid of ignorance and purifying your faith by obligatory and voluntary acts of worship as well as increasing in obedience to Allah The Almighty day by day.
• Reforming the affairs of your family and raising your children upon religion.
• Reforming your Muslim sisters in two ways:
a- Directing to what is good.
b- Establishing and maintaining close ties with them through reconciliation and exchanging visits with them.
Finally, you should know that you are very important and that you play a great role in this Ummah. Do not imagine that you are marginalized or at the periphery of community life. Rather, you are half of this Ummah and you are responsible for producing and raising the other half. You are a whole nation.

When you are reformed, and with your attempts to reform others the Muslim Ummah is reformed and our status quo will change. Therefore, you should fulfill this responsibility and your reward will be Paradise, Allah Willing.