At pain to marry him although he cannot afford to marry a second wife
26-11-2007 | IslamWeb
Question:
Assalamu Alaikum, In my work place there was a muslim syster of central asia who usually asks me questions about Islam and fiqh. I used to give her books and web urls related to those matter. One day shockingly she asked me whether I would marry her. I told her I'm married with 3 children and can't afford to marry a second wife since my family is living in my home in India, and I could not bring them over here to maintain 'Adl ' as Allah has ordered us. But she says she would work here and earn money and help me to maintain both wives here.when I refused she became mentally and phisically ill and says it will further damage her mental health and may become permanently ill person. She says the reason behind is, in her home country so many relatives approched her for marriage through her parents. But none of them are adherence to Sharia. for example they would ask her to remove abaya and may lead her astray from the path of Allah. She says, she found me offering prayers at time in the workplace and adherence to islamic life led her this way of thinking. When she became more sick I asked her to go to her country and pray Isthikhara. But still she contacts me and pleads for help to marry her. Now What should I do. Please advice me. Wa jazakumullahu Khairan
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, we ask Allaah to reward you for being keen on calling people to Islam and we ask Him to protect the religion of this sister and bless her with a pious husband.
There is no doubt that being just between wives is a condition for marrying more than one wife. In principle a husband should be just between his two wives even if they are in different countries, as stated by some jurists 
. This is in case the husband is able to be just between his two wives who are living in different countries. However, if he is unable, he should fear Allaah as much as he can.
Therefore, if you wish to marry this woman, it is permissible for you to marry her, because not marrying her will not benefit your first wife in anything. However, you should travel to your first wife whenever this is possible and give her as much as you can from your time.
Allaah Knows best.