His working wife disobeys his orders
27-5-2009 | IslamWeb
Question:
Assalam-o-Alaikum Wa Rehmat-ul-Allah. Me and my wife are working in different countries and we often fight over some issues which I consider haram in Islam. One of the issues is: Whenever she goes out with her female friends (non Muslims) for dinner in a restaurant or their homes, she returns home very late, like 10 or 11 in the night, and sometimes even more. I am trying to stop her by doing so, but she argues with me and considers this act of her as permissible. Due to her arrogance, I have stopped talking to her until she listens and implements what Islam says. Please guide me in the light of Quran and Hadiath, if her act is permissible and is it ok if she argues with me on this issue, and lastly, is it ok if I stop talking to her on her impermissible acts?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
What your wife is doing, like going out with her female friends to the restaurants may include some prohibitions. They may go out to restaurants that include some prohibitions like the mixing of men and women, and if you prohibit her from doing so, then it becomes more forbidden for her to go there because she is Islamically obliged to obey you. In Sharee’ah [Islamic Law], the wife is obliged to obey her husband within what is permissible; for more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 85753 and 83157.
As regards her arguing with you, if this is with the purpose of knowing the truth, then this is permissible, but if this is because of her stubbornness, then she is not permitted to do so.
Furthermore, you should know that if a wife is disobedient [and is rebellious towards her husband], then Sharee’ah advised the husband to follow some steps in trying to discipline her; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 84120.
Moreover, it is permissible to turn one’s back in bed to the wife when she is disobedient but it is not permissible to desert her for more than three days because the Prophet said: "A Muslim is not allowed to abandon another Muslim brother for more than three days." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] For more details, please refer to Fatwa 84976.
Finally, the following matters should be mentioned:
1- It is not permissible for a husband to be absent from his wife more than six months without her permission; for more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 85711 and 88642.
2- If it is possible for a husband to reside with his wife together in one town, then this is better in order to avoid disputes and to keep themselves chaste.
Allaah Knows best.