Does not want to live with her mother-in-law
15-11-2009 | IslamWeb
Question:
assalamalaikum sheikh
we are a small family..whereby my husband is the only son with 2 married sisters.my father in law expired.only mother in law to be looked after.we only have one house which has a good value in the market.my question to you is shd this be distributed among the heirs?father in law did not have any such will.if yes,how can we distribute?we do not have such huge amts to pay sisters /mother their due.whose house will it be?will it be my husbands house?as its used for residence purpose..when in absence its rented.
2.my mother in law is very biased.she is possessive abt her son in law which makes me stay with her very difficult.she only sees the comfort of her daughters/son in law/son.i am only a servant in her eyes.she thinks its her right to get things done frm me.i have refused to stay with her.she stays with her daughter.occassionally,she visits us.pls note that her entire financial responsibility is borne by us.watever her daughter tells her she does that.indirectly,her daughter interferes in our affairs.her daughter doesnt cook,she cooks there.but when she comes here she doesnt help me a bit.all work i have to do apart frm her personal work also.
regarding her bank work,official house formalties,decision making all take place in consultation with her daughter.doesnt even bother to involve/inform me.i am there as a substitute servant.this upsets me a lot.pls tell me if i am wrong on my part to take such decision?dont i hav any right?we do not hav a room of our own..she says its her son in laws room where my bedset is being put after our wedding.s-i-l was using it before.we have not denied any of her rights.my husband has always fulfilled his duty as a son alhamdullilah.but i do not want to stay with her.i want her to continue staying in her daughters place without any disturbance to our financial duties towards her.pls tell me if i am wrong.
jazakallahu khairan
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
The money [and property] that the dead leaves behind is a right for his heirs; Allaah Says (what means): {For men is a share of what the parents and close relatives leave, and for women is a share of what the parents and close relatives leave, be it little or much - an obligatory share.}[Quran 4:7] Moreover, the Prophet said: "Whoever left an estate, it goes to his heirs." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Therefore, it is an obligation to divide this house among the heirs if some of them want it to be divided. They may also rent it and divide the rent money amongst them according to their shares or whatever they agree upon. The house may also be valued according to market price and one of the heirs may take it and then give each other heir his share and the house will become his property. Or that it may be sold and each heir will take his share from its price.
However, it is not permissible for your husband to own this house without the consent of the rest of the heirs. Residing in it does not mean that he owns it. Rather, he should not live in it on his own or to rent it without the other heirs’ permission. They have the right to ask him to pay a sum in return for him dwelling in it.
On the other hand, you are not wrong in refusing to live with your mother-in-law because a wife is not obliged to dwell with anyone of her husband’s relatives. It is your right on your husband to provide you with a separate accommodation even by renting it; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 86132.
Similarly, it is not permissible for your mother-in-law to use part of the house and dispose of it before the house is divided and without the permission of the other heirs. Therefore, we advise you to be patient with her and advise her in a good and soft manner.
As regards the fact that your mother-in-law helps her daughter and does not help you, then she is not obliged to help you. If she helps you, then this is good, otherwise, do not bother yourself about her. It might be better for you that she does not help you, so that she will not consider it a favour to you as she might hurt you with it one day.
Allaah Knows best.