His mother refuses to let him take his wife back

24-12-2009 | IslamWeb

Question:

Assalamualaikum,I wanted to know whether It is right to give divorce to my wife, as peoples are saying that their family practices magic i.e. they are going to mazar and some maulana who help them in this matter.I also wanted you to know that I have been married her on dec 2007.She stayed with me for 3 months and then onwards she is staying with her family only.Her mother used to come to my house alwasys take her away with her without my permission and she used to follow her mother what ever she says,not only this she even discloses the private matters that happened between me and her to her mother and other relatives.She used to say that she sees some Ghost in my house.I have 3 younger brothers and my mother with me and i cannot leave them as the whole family depends on me only.My father expired 8 years ago.Her Mother is the main culprit she wants me to leave my family and live with them in their house and to follow them whatever they says.Thats why she has done all these things.We even have meetings from both the sides 3 times and nothing happened.And they also complaint in police station that i tortured my wife and does not treat her well.In retaliation i also complaint against them in the police station and the incharge said to both of them go and solve your matter in the masjid and dont come to police station.In the last meeting recently after Eid it was decided to pay her 270000 as the final amount. After this meeting my wife called me that she want to live with me and promised me that she will not do this things again and she will obey me.but my mother is not ready to accept her now as she believe that they will do some black magic on me and take me away from her.My mother also says that if she succeeds in having a baby with you then they will harash us more than before.now i am in a total mess, i am not able to decide what to do.Please help me and give some solution from the book of Allah.Reply soon because the next meeting is just after the Bakri Eid.
Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

 

It is not acceptable to divorce your wife just because her family practise magic or visit magicians or go to those who help them in magic. What is important is to what extent your wife is religious and has good moral conduct. Indeed, both practising magic and visiting the graves of pious people in order to seek their help are a great evil as this is Shirk [associating partners with Allaah]. But it is not permissible to accuse someone about this without evidence.

Besides, if your wife went out of home without your permission while having a sound reason for doing so, like fearing a specific harm that may befall her, or in order to ask for a separate accommodation, then she is not considered disobedient by doing so. However, if this was without a sound reason, then she is disobedient. Islam has clarified the steps of dealing with a disobedient wife and this is clarified in Fatwa 85402.

Moreover, her revealing her marital secrets to others is an evil matter and if these secrets are related to sexual intercourse, then this is even more prohibited. Abu Sa'eed Al-Khudri may Allaah be pleased with him narrated that the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “The most evil of men in the sight of Allaah on the Day of Resurrection, is the one who has sexual intercourse with his wife and she has sexual intercourse with him and then he discloses her secret.”  [Muslim]

Furthermore, the matter is as we mentioned to you that your wife has a right to a separate accommodation because she is not obliged to dwell with your parents even if your parents need you. You should give each of your parents and your wife his/her right. You may allocate part of the family house for your wife with its separate amenities or provide her with a house near them, either by building it or by renting it so that you may be close to your parents; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 84608. Also, you are not religiously obliged to go to your wife’s family to dwell with them in their house.

On the other hand, if you are pretty sure that your wife is sincere in her repentance and in her wish to come back to you, then you should keep her in kindness and you are not obliged to obey your mother in not bringing her back. A son is not obliged to obey his mother if she asks him to divorce his wife without a sound reason. However, if you predominantly think that she is not sincere in her repentance, and you fear that the problems will happen again and dissension will take place, then you are obliged to obey your mother and divorce your wife especially that you did not have children with her because this is easier than divorcing her after having children.

Finally, the two following matters should be mentioned:

  1. It is not permissible to resort to man-made laws except in case of necessity. Rather, the Muslims who are living in non-Muslim countries should resort to Islamic centres in case of need.
  2. A husband is not obliged to pay an amount of money to his wife if she has any due rights on him, like a delayed dowry and the like. However, in case he wishes to give her something of his own free will, then this is good and he will be rewarded about it if he seeks the reward of Allaah in doing so.

Allaah Knows best.

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