His disobedient wife is getting him into much trouble
3-2-2010 | IslamWeb
Question:
I REALLY NEED SOME HELP PLEASE... I BEEN MARRIED TO MY WIFE FOR EIGHT AND A HALF YEARS, I'VE JUST MANAGED TO BRING HER TO THE UK ABOUT A 14 MONTHS AGO... EVERYTHING WAS FINE AND GOING WELL, DURING LAST YEAR MY WIFE CONFESSED TO ME THAT SHE HAD OBTAINED A FRAUDLENT PASSPORT ... THIS IS THE PASSPORT WERE I SAID I WASNT MADE AWARE THAT IT WAS FRAUDLENT AT THE APPEAL COURT.. WHERE THEY GRANTED HER VISA BUT AFTER HER CONFESSION I TOLD HER WE SHOULD NOTIFY THE RELAVANT AUTHORITIES SHE SAID THAT WAS FINE AFTER A COUPLE OF DAYS SHE SAID SHE WAS GOING TO STAY WITH FAMILY I DIDNT THINK NOTHING OF IT IVE TRIED CALLING HER SHE SAID TO ME THAT SHE HAS NO INTENTION OF COMMING BACK... AND SHE CAN GET BRITISH PASSPORT WITHOUT ME. AND THEN THE FOLLOWING WEEK I GET ARRESTED FOR A DOMESTIC VIOLENCE WHICH I DONT NO NOTHING ABOUT. IVE NEVER HIT MY WIFE. FAMILY HAVE TRIED RESOLVING IT BUT HER FATHER BACK HOME IS SAYING HE WANTS 5K AND THE HOUSE FULLY IN HIS DAUGHTERS NAME I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT ELSE I CAN DO ... WHEN MY WIFE CAME TO THE UK SHE TOLD ME SHE DIDNT WANT ME WORKING ANY MORE LITTLE BY LITTLE SHE GOT ME TO STOP, SHE DIDNT LET ME CLAIM BENEFITS FOR SIX MONTHS, SHE WOULDNT LET ME SEE MY FRIENDS AT ALL. I FEEL LIKE IVE LOST EVERYTHING. I FEEL ABUSED. I FEEL HURT. I CANT BLIEVE WAITING FOR SO LONG FOR MY WIFE WHO I LOVED DEARLY TO COME TO THE UK AND KNO SHE IS JUST WANTING A BRITISH PASSPORT AND GETTING ME INTO TROUBLE ... PLEASE HELP ME. NO ONE IS GIVING ME ADVICE.. AS NIETHER HAVE I NOR MY FAMILY BEEN IN THIS SITUATION BEFORE.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
If a woman gets married, her husband has more right over her than her parents, and he becomes her provider and sustainer and she is obliged to obey him. Rather, her obedience to him comes in priority over her obedience to her parents and we have already clarified this in Fatwa 119697.
Hence, your father-in-law has no right to prevent your wife from coming to reside with you. A wife is obliged to reside where her husband resides unless she has a sound reason for refusing, otherwise she is considered a disobedient wife. To know the Sharee’ah steps you may follow in order to discipline a disobedient wife, please refer to Fatwa 85402.
As regards the conditions that her father put in order to bring her back to you, then you are not religiously obliged to accept them. Rather, you should follow the steps of disciplining a disobedient wife that are mentioned in the above-referred Fatwa. Then if your wife takes heed, this is what is required, but if she insists on her stand, you should appoint some rational men from your family and hers to talk to her father and her. Then if reconciliation happens, praise be to Allaah, otherwise there is no good for you in keeping such a wife.
Moreover, you are permitted not to divorce her until she ransoms herself from you. When interpreting the verse in which Allaah Says (what means): {And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality [i.e. adultery].}[Quran 4:19], At-Tabari 
said: “In regard to making difficulties so that the wife ransoms herself from her husband with what he had given her, or with part of it, then this is a right of her husband… the meaning of the verse is: It is not permissible for you, O believers, to deny them their rights…unless they commit a clear immorality [adultery] or use bad language for you, and they deny you your rights over them, then in this case, it is permissible for you to deny them their rights so that you take back some of the dowry that you had given to them if they ransom themselves with it.”
Nonetheless, it is strange that you say that your wife got you to stop your work, prevented you to take benefits for six months, and she did not let you see your friends. All this means that she considers herself as your protector and provider and this is contrary to the teaching of the Quran. What is even stranger is that you obeyed her orders and submitted yourself to her. There is no doubt that this is actually humiliating to you and this makes your wife more arrogant and aggressive toward you.
Allaah Knows best.