His parents have called off his engagement to his cousin

11-11-2010 | IslamWeb

Question:

Assalam o Alikum Iam a 27 year old male. Almost 18 months back i got engaged to my cousin (after asking for her consent I asked my parents to take my proposal) who is the daughter of my mothers brother.At the time of the engagement I pushed my family for a nikah, but my mother persisted against it. presently I live in Saudi Arabia and my only contact woth her was througt internet. A few months back our family had a fight with each other over petty issues my family called of the marraige without my consent infact i was against calling off the marraige. I have tried reasoning with my parents but to no avail so far and they are hell bend on not letting me get married to my cousin. I believe since I was the first one ask for the girls consent and I promised her That I will get married to her, I want to to ask the girls guardian directly, since my parents are not agreeing to it and not letting me honour my commitment. Secondly does make me a bad Muslim.

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

 

An engagement is a promise between the two parties and each party has the right to invalidate it whenever they wish to do so. However, one should fulfill the engagement if there is no sound reason for invalidating it. Fulfilling a promise is desirable according to the view of the majority of the scholars  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  them and it is not obligatory. For more benefit on the ruling of fulfilling one’s promise, please refer to Fatwa 90273.

However, your parents (either or both) have no right to call off the engagement without your consent. Also, they should not prevent you from marrying this girl and you did well by trying to convince them to accept. You should not despair of doing so (trying to convince them) and you should first seek the Help of Allaah and then the help of whomever may influence them. Then, if they agree, praise be to Allaah, otherwise we advise you not to disagree with them or to do what angers them. This is provided that your heart is not attached to your cousin and you do not fear to be tempted by her if you do not marry her, otherwise, in such a case, it becomes permissible for you to marry her even if your parents do not agree; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 106420.

Finally, if marriage with her is not facilitated for any reason, then you should cut any relationship with her as she is a non-Mahram to you and it is not permissible for a Muslim man to have an affectionate relationship with a non-Mahram woman as we clarified in Fatwa 81356.
Allaah Knows best.

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