His relatives insist on visiting graves for help
18-4-2011 | IslamWeb
Question:
Assalamalekum, Most of my relatives and my grand parents believe in going to dargah(ie majhars of some people who according to them were great maulanas or preachers). They go there and ask those people to pray to Allah(SWT) on their behalf. They read fatiha over there in dargahs. I know this is wrong to do. My family and my self have been telling them not to do so, but they do not believe us and continue to do so. We are in a conflicting situation because when we do not listen to them,they feel we are not respecting them and donot follow the true religion. Please tell us what to do.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
We have already issued Fataawa 82393 and 4973 clarifying the ruling of visiting shrines and asking the dead for help. Also, reciting Al-Faatihah [Quran, Chapter 1] at graves is not a legislated act; rather, it is a kind of Bid'ah (innovation) as stated by Shaykhs Ibn ‘Uthaymeen and Ibn Baaz 
.
May Allaah reward you for the advice and guidance that you provide for your family, and we advise you to be soft and gentle with them and be patient with what you may encounter from them like them harming you or turning away from you. In fact, it is ignorance that led many of them to do so, and this is also due to the fact that they follow some people whom they trust and who made pleasing to them this act claiming that it is the core of Islam and that whoever acts contrarily to it, he is not following the true teachings of Islam. Jaabir 
narrated that the Prophet said: ''Verily Allaah did not send me to be a source of hardship (to others) or cause harm (to others), but He has sent me to teach (to convey the message) and make things easy (for the people).” [Muslim].
Hence, you should be keen on supplicating Allaah to guide them to the right path. Look how our merciful Prophet used to supplicate. Abu Hurayrah narrated: ''Tufayl Ibn ‘Amr Ad-Dawsi and his people came to the Prophet and said to him: ''O Prophet of Allaah, indeed Daws [a name of a tribe] disobeyed and refused to accept Islam, so supplicate Allaah against them." The people thought that Daws would perish (because the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would invoke Allaah’s wrath for them). But the Prophet said: ''O Allaah, guide Daws and bring them to me (as Muslims).” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Here, it is worth mentioning that the Prophet said in a Hadeeth, even though some scholars classified it as Dha’eef [weak]: ''Indeed, Allaah did not send me as a slanderer or a curser, but He sent me as a Daa’iyah (caller to Islam) and a mercy (to the people); O Allaah guide my people, for they do not know.” [Al-Bayhaqi]
Allaah Knows best.