Wants to solve the problem of dissension between her family members
12-10-2011 | IslamWeb
Question:
ASSLAMOALAKUM, Resp.Imaam !my family is suffering from grave disease 'Qata e Rehmi' for many years.my parents are separatedfor 4 yrs .my elder sister (32yrs-B.com ) old highly hates my mother because she used to advise her for bad habits like disobedience,misbehaviour and getting worried for daughter she often scolded her.but my sister thinks she is the cruel mother,abuses her;she is now living isolated with father does nothing except for eating,sleeping,some prayers.she helds mother responsible for her failures and want her to leave home as a solution.my father also suppports her.my mother has served them for 30yrs now living in upper storey with my 25yr old brother who is psychiatric patient.my mother is v.punctual in religion prayers.she says she cannot keep her silent if evil or injustice happens in front of her she is now fighting for her disable son's right because father does not take good care,he says i ve no money as he is retired & lives on bank saving monthly income ..i am 31yrs doctor married for last 6mo.Now my inlaws are getting bad impression.My mother tried for tasfeeha with two family friends that divide property or separate expenses for son to live separately but failed.My parents do ve opposite personalities in marital relation but we had been living as average family unless situation is worst in last yrs.I am afraid of Allah 's wrath.i feel as death is approaching us day by day i want to pay my duty at any cost to save us from hell fire.PLEASE PLEASE I BEG YOU REPLY MY i am tiring PLZ SUGGEST ME IN LIGHT OF QURAN SUNNAH .JZAKALLAH KHAIR
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
The first thing we ask you to do is to supplicate Allaah earnestly as He is near and He responds to the supplication of the person who supplicates Him. Allaah Says (what means): {And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me-indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me.}[Quran 2:186]
Also, you should supplicate with the supplication of a person in sorrow and difficulty and which was confirmed from the Prophet : “Allaahumma rahmataka arjo fala takilni ila nafsi tarfata 'ayn, wa aslih li sha'ni kullahu, la ilaaha illa ant.” “O Allaah, it is Your Mercy that I hope for, so do not leave me in charge of my affairs even for a blink of an eye and rectify for me all of my affairs. None has the right to be worshipped except You.” [Ahmad and Abu Daawood]
There is no doubt that the situation of your family is one of your prime concerns for which you seek goodness. Hence, you should endeavor to advise all your family members in a good manner and remind them of their blood relations which they are obligated to keep and not allowed to cut. You may make use of some texts mentioned in Fataawa 83031 and 88129. If there is a need to seek the help of some rational people, then you may do so.
Besides, you should especially remind your sister of her obligation towards her mother and that she must be kind and dutiful to her more than towards her father. Indeed, in the Sharee’ah, the mother deserves three times more obedience and dutifulness from her children than the father deserves as per the Hadeeth regarding keeping good company with the mother and which was reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim.
Since being dutiful and kind to the mother is of this status, then cutting ties with her is even more forbidden and sinful. Hence, your sister has no excuse for saying that her mother is cruel to her; as it is due on her to be kind and dutiful to her mother even though she mistreated her. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 87019 and 85652.
However, it might be that her mother is cruel to her due to her being keen on her benefit. Nevertheless, if your mother’s manner of giving advice is as you described, you should advise her about the best manner of giving advice that will yield benefit and avoid disadvantages.
As regards your parents, then you should try your best to reconcile between them and clarify that their children need that the family be stable and happy. You should seek the help of some rational people to achieve this.
If this separation is without divorce, then the situation should not continue like this; your father should either keep your mother in kindness or divorce her in reasonable terms.
In case divorce takes place and it is possible for your father to take her back, then he should do so, otherwise each one of them should fear Allaah in regard to the other and they should not make this separation as a reason of dissension in the family.
On the other hand, your father is obliged to spend on this sick child if the latter needs his support. So, if your father is really insolvent and he is unable to spend on him, then it is his mother who is obliged to spend on him. In case she has no money, then his brothers and sisters who have money are obliged to spend on him, each according to his ability.
Finally, it should be noted that a Muslim should not save his money in a bank that deals with Riba (interest and/or usury) except in case of necessity. Even in case of necessity, he should save his money in a current account and not in a saving account.
In case he saved his money in a saving account, he must change it into a current account and whatever interests he received from the saving account, he is not permitted to benefit from it; rather, he has to spend it in charity with the intention of getting rid of ill-gotten money.
Allaah Knows best.