Wife refuses to go to bed with her husband fearing that the Ghusl harms her hair

18-3-2012 | IslamWeb

Question:

on behalf of my muslim brother If I am calling my wife for intercourse daily (because I can't able control my desires), some time she is rejecting my call due to head bath (ghusl). She is feeling that daily/regular head bath will harm her health & some time head bath harms her. So, in this case what shall we do ? Can she accept my call & can she do thaimam / bathing except the head or she has to accept my call only when she can able to do the head bath (I mean washing the head) ? Pls clarify me.

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Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds.  I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

It is not permissible for a wife to refuse to go to bed with her husband [for sexual intercourse] on the grounds that Ghusl (ritual bath) harms her hair or her health as the Prophet said: "If a husband calls his wife to bed and she refuses, the angels will curse her until she gets up in the morning." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

However, if she has a sound reason for fearing about her health, like when it is cold and there is nothing to warm the water with, for example, then she may perform Tayammum (dry ablution) instead of Ghusl and then she performs Ghusl when her excuse disappears.

Therefore, a wife should obey her husband when he calls her to bed and it is not permissible for her to refuse unless she has a sound reason like menses, or an obligatory fasting and so forth. Just fearing to perform Ghusl is not a sound reason for refusing.

Allaah Knows best.