His wife disobeys him and does not let him marry another wife
21-6-2012 | IslamWeb
Question:
I have problem with my wife.. She is disobedient and I have serious misunderstandings with her.but I have five children from her. She is 7 years older to me. I did my best to solve these problems but nothing worked. All her family is also considering her to be right while my whole family consider her wrong. She is now 41 and I am 34. Whenever I ask for another marriage she start fighting with me.. The new marriage is not only necessity for me but for my home. As I have no one at home except my 1st wife and kids. Her family is also supporting her and create all types of problems for me. They made my life miserable. My house in near to her mom house that is also a big problem and I cannot sell that home as I made it with alot of love. I am maintaining my home better than all her family. But my mind does not accept her as she is not obedient to me. She always prefer her family over me. I am so much confused what to do? Get rid of her at this stage of her life or keep her at home and bring another wife in order to keep the balance of my home. Please advise as per Islamic Law. I dont want to commit any sin. Thanks..
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
According to the Sharee’ah, the husband is in charge of his wife and he is her provider and protector; Allaah Says (what means): {Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allaah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth.} [Quran 4:34] For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 9623 and 8083.
Therefore, the wife should know the status of her husband and obey him in what is reasonable and permissible. If she becomes recalcitrant, disobeys her husband and looks down upon him, then it is permissible for her husband to discipline her. For more benefit on how to discipline a recalcitrant wife, please refer to Fatwa 85402.
Indeed, this divine treatment is based on absolute wisdom, so we advise you to follow it as it may be a reason for rectifying your wife.
On the other hand, if the family of the wife interferes in the problems between her and her husband – if this is not for the purpose of reconciling between them – then this is dispraised as it is not permissible for them to incite their daughter to disobey her husband. In principle, the wife should fulfill the right of her husband as well as the right of her parents. Nonetheless, if the two rights contradict each other, then the right of the husband comes in priority over the right of the parents, let alone the right of other people. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 89708.
As regards a husband marrying a second wife, then this is permissible for whoever is able to do so and is able to fulfill his responsibilities, whether the wife is obedient or recalcitrant. Also, the husband is not obliged to inform his first wife about his second marriage or to seek her permission as discussed in Fataawa 84411 and 85948.
Anyway, you should not hasten to divorce your wife or to marry a second wife unless you are sure about the benefit of doing so. You should seek the advice of trustworthy people and perform Istikhaarah prayer. Fore more details, please refer to Fatwa 81434.
Finally, it should be noted that the second wife is not obliged to live with the first wife in the same accommodation unless each wife has her own part of the house that has its separate amenities. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 86977.
Allaah Knows best.