The rights of a foster family
4-11-2013 | IslamWeb
Question:
Aselamu Aleykum I am from Ethiopia My age is in 20s and am working in one of the gov't office.Before forwarding my question I put my brief history. I lost my family at early age.then being with my sister who had converted to ISLAM and has a husband I had completed grade 8.Then I moved to my friend's family who are so kind. As My family and relatives are non muslims the suport from their side is not as much.This new family just treated me as if I were their child up to grade 12.Unfortunately their father was dead when I was grade 10. After grade 12 I moved to the University. Generally I moved through harsh conditions. Still I am living with my new family in good relations and am helping them with what i can. My question now is:1.Am I responsible to help these family just as a real family or is that considered as a good action. 2.they have one daughter and several sons. Some times this daughter and her mother speaks to me through phone and also I call them.And also I visited them on occasions such as Eid.Am I allowed to do so? Frankly speaking I love this daughter though I don't know what type of love is that and she treated me well may be more than her brothers. Can I marry her(May Allah protect me) Jezakellahukheir.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
You are not obliged to be dutiful to this family and to maintain relations with them in the same manner that you are obliged to be dutiful to your parents and relatives, but in addition to the right of Islam, they have the right of good companionship; Allaah says (what means): {…and to parents do good, and to relatives, orphans, the needy, the near neighbor, the neighbor farther away, the companion at your side, the traveler, and those whom your right hands possess….} [Quran 4:36]
As-Sa'di 
said: “The Muslim companion has a right additional to the right of a Muslim, like helping him in religious and worldly matters, giving advice, being faithful at times of ease and difficulty, standing by his side at all times, loving for him what one loves for oneself, and hating for him what one hates for oneself; and the stronger the companionship, the more right the companion has over his companion.”
On the other hand, those people have the right over you of reciprocating the favors they did for you.
As regards speaking with the girl and her mother, it has the same legal effect as speaking with a non-Mahram women, which is permissible at times of need. Visiting them is also permissible provided that you are not in seclusion with one of them and that you believe there will be no temptation.
Finally, if this girl is righteous, it is permissible for you to marry her; rather, it is preferable for you to do so as a way of acknowledging the good they did to you and strengthening your relations with them.
For more benefit, kindly refer to Fataawa 83629, 2742 and 85082.
Allaah Knows best.