Sexual self-stimulation between spouses for 'medical reasons'
23-3-2014 | IslamWeb
Question:
Assalaamulalaikum, My question is with regards sexual self-stimulation based on medical advice. I’ve read the general ruling regarding the prohibition of masturbation based on the verse from Surah Muminoon. I also understand that it is allowed for one to masturbate their spouse. However, my question is slightly different: My wife has an illness called Vaginismus. It means we cannot have sex because her vagina closes up when we come close to penetration. We have been married for almost one and a half years and there is no sign of significant progress. Doctors have said this is largely psychological and because she hasn’t become comfortable with her own body and sexuality due to her upbringing, some cases of abuse as well as notions of self-image, low-esteem and negative ideas about sex and the female body. As part of her ongoing treatment, doctors have recommended that she explore her private region with her own hands and stimulate herself to become familiar, comfortable and more open to her own body and sexuality, and generally relax with sexual contact in that region. She can do this with me if need be, but they say she should do it herself mainly with her own hands so there's no pressure. For health reasons, is this allowed? I am also finding it difficult as I haven't consummated the marriage yet after a year and a half, so I am willing to accept whatever solutions may come if they're halal. Can the above be considered as outside the general prohibition against masturbation due to a medical need? Jazakallah Khair for your time and understanding in these affairs. Assalaamulalaikum.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His Slave and Messenger.
Masturbation is forbidden in Islam. However, the treatment of your wife as you mentioned may be done with your hand. We have underlined the permissibility of doing that in Fataawa 87743 and 83147. Thus, you can accomplish your objective, following the doctor’s advice, without committing any religious violation.
Also, there is no harm in consulting experienced psychologists; perhaps they would prescribe medication to help her overcome her problem. We advise you to recite the Ruqyah (Quranic healing), Thikr and Istighfaar often. For more benefit, kindly refer to Fatwa 88705.
Allaah knows best.