A wife helping her family financially without her husband's knowledge
24-2-2014 | IslamWeb
Question:
Asalam Aliakum, I am a Muslim sister – me and my husband masha Allah share a very good relationship. My husband masha Allah earns very well that he spends very decently on me (in our home) as well on his parents and brothers and sisters – you can include him among very high earning individuals. I am currently not working, however my parents are financially not very well as well as I have a younger brother and a sister who want to study further but are facing financial difficulties – my husband doesn’t feel any responsibility towards them and I don’t balm him for this. However my questions here are two: 1. when my husband gives me money for buying anything for myself – if I buy less expensive stuff and save some money (after searching for sales and comparing prices etc. it is a hard work I a sure you know) I am right to give this money to my parents, sister and brother for their education? am I supposed to tell my husband about it? because if I tell him, he will not like this and also establish a bad image of my parents as he believes that girls parents are supposed to give only and not take. 2. my second question is that if I work can I hide it from my husband purely for the reason that I want to help my parents – if I don’t hide, he’ll expect the money to be our savings. my father has struggled a lot to get me to this point that today I am doing a PhD, however this saddens me so much that he might not get the fruit as whenever I will work, my husband will expect my pay to contribute to household expense or become our savings. Please advise me as it is killing me that when my parents need my helps I am unable to help them.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
This depends on the custom between you and your husband in such matters, that is, in regard to the money he provides. If it is known that your husband wants you to save it for certain types or a certain amount of needs and does not mind that you use the money that is left over afterwards, then there is no harm in disposing of the remainder of the money - after saving it – in any permissible manner, including if you help your family, which is one of the best offerings to Allaah, as it is an act of both charity and kindness to kin.
Salmaan ibn ‘Aamir Adh-Dhabbi 
narrated that the Prophet said: "An act of charity on a poor person is only (counted as) charity, while an act of charity on a relative is (counted as) an act of charity and maintaining ties of kinship." [Ahmad, An-Nasaa'i, At-Tirmithi and Ibn Maajah] In this case, you may dispose of the money without informing your husband.
As regards working, it is permissible for you to work provided that the work does not involve any Sharee'ah violations, and provided that your husband gives you permission to work. Indeed, you are not allowed to work without his permission as long as he provides sufficiently for you. However, if you set a condition on him to work before you got married to him, then he is obliged to fulfill this condition. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 82399 and 83629.
In case your husband does not give you permission to go out to work, then you can find a way to work from home and earn some money to help your family. For more benefit, kindly refer to Fataawa 86272 and 86182.
Allaah Knows best.