Many of Internet marriages end in failure

6-3-2014 | IslamWeb

Question:

I broke up with my long years long distance relationship boyfriend when my mother told me that if he cannot be able to marry me then it is better not to invest feelings for him. But when the boy talked to my mother regarding the all inclusive wedding expenses, the boy could not afford it by himself and his family refuses to help him this time. The family told the boy to postponed it until next year, so the boy promised me that way. I am so confuse either to wait for him and still be attached to him or what shall I do to comfort myself, my family and the boy for the sake of Allah? Shukran.

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Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

You did the right thing by breaking up with this young man. You should sincerely repent from all sins and turn to Allaah, The Exalted; verily, it is impermissible for a Muslim woman to have an affectionate relationship with any man (before marriage). We have underlined the impermissibility of such an illicit relationship in Fatwa 81356. The conditions of repentance are highlighted in Fatwa 86527.

If those in love are able to get married, then this is commendable. Ibn ‘Abbaas reported that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “There is nothing like marriage for two who love one another.” [Ibn Maajah]

If you choose to remain patient and wait for this young man, then there is no harm in that. However, we advise you not to do so for certain considerations, including the following:

First, most of the marriages of couples who meet on the Internet and the like have proven to be unsuccessful. This is because it is difficult to get to know the suitor for who he really is and examine his religiosity and character. The Islamic Sharee'ah urges Muslim women to choose pious and well-mannered husbands. People commonly tend to pretend to be different people on the Internet, showing their good qualities only. Then, after marriage, it becomes clear that they are not like that.

Second, you mentioned that this young man cannot afford the marriage expenses at present, and it is not recommended, especially for a young woman, to delay marriage. Please refer to Fatwa 82471.

Allaah Knows best.