Fornicators' marriage valid after repentance
21-2-2015 | IslamWeb
Question:
My husband committed adultery, once I found out I encouraged him to repent and correct his ways. But for over a year he still continued to lie and continue a relationship with her, even going as far as to pay her bills, move her into a larger home and provide generously for her and her child. This caused a lot of turmoil in our marriage, and he said if I wouldn't allow him to marry her he would leave me. They had a hard time finding an imam that would marry them because of several reasons, (I.e. Law of land, you can't have a legal marriage and a Islamic one) once they found an imam and married even more issues arose. And after 3 months he pronounced talaq, claiming irreconcilable differences, (arguing, fighting, her wanting him to divorce me, his family not accepting of the marriage, and most importantly she's not on her deen, listening to music, cursing, no hajab, and it's hard for him to communicate with her concerning the deen because she has a difference of opinion). I feel so bad because of this whole situation has caused so much fitna for me, our children and families. He is still with her during her iddat period trying to leave on good terms but it's wrong because he comforts her, hugging, being affectionate etc even though he is firm on his decision. I've tried to advise him as best I can, I even called the imam and sadly he told me I should divorce my husband and let them work the marriage out because it was none of my business. I need help, is the marriage even valid, (they didn't be honest with the imam, about there relationship, her wanting him to leave me, him not being financially able to provide for two households) and is he wrong in how he's handling this talaq, (he has pronounced it several times, some calmly some in arguments, he's being affectionate and comforting to her, hugging, playing, misleading in making her feel like there is a chance they will remain married) her iddah has only 1 month left, please advise
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
Your husband has no doubt committed a grave sin if he actually committed adultery with that woman. You did well by advising him and urging him to repent of that sin. Extra-marital relationships incur such evil and corruption, and therefore Allaah The Exalted prohibited them as we have explained in Fatwa 81356.
Regarding men and women who have committed adultery, if they get married after sincere repentance and all the conditions of a valid marriage are fulfilled, namely the consent of the bride's Wali (legal guardian) and presence of the witnesses, then it is a valid marriage according to scholarly consensus. If they get married before making repentance, then there is a difference of opinion among the scholars regarding the validity of their marriage. Some jurists held that it is valid. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 83176.
When the husband divorces his wife for the first or second time, the divorce is revocable. During the ‘Iddah, the woman is still his wife. If he says or does something that indicates a revocation of the divorce before the ‘Iddah expires, then the divorce is revoked and their marriage bond is retained. Scholars held different opinions regarding the valid means of the revocation of a divorced wife; please refer to Fatwa 89845.
And for more benefit, please also refer to Fatwa 82541 about the types of divorce.
We would like to advise you not to preoccupy yourself with thinking about your husband's marriage with this woman. If he falls short in fulfilling your rights, you are entitled to demand your rights from him. If remaining married to him harms you, then you have the right to ask for divorce to ward off this harm. It is advisable, though, not to opt for divorce unless the benefits brought about as a result outweigh the harms incurred by the divorce. Please refer to Fatwa 225223.
Please note that it is impermissible for a Muslim woman to ask for divorce for no valid reason. The fact that her husband takes another wife does not give her the right to ask for divorce.
Finally, we would like to underline the following points:
- Polygyny is allowed in Islam on condition that the man is able to be just with his wives. Any man-made law that contradicts the Islamic law is simply worthless and should be disregarded. It is odd that the man is allowed to have illegitimate extra-marital affairs as he wishes and is prevented from taking a second wife. Please refer to Fatwa 82124.
- The husband should not threaten his wife with divorce if she stands in the way of his second marriage; this is improper for a Muslim man and runs counter to the noble Islamic manners.
- If the wife is negligent in her religion, the husband must give her advice. If she repents, then all is well; otherwise, it is better for him to divorce her.
Allaah Knows best.