Emotionally blackmailed by her family to marry a man that she does not like
14-12-2015 | IslamWeb
Question:
Apologies, I added the wrong email to the last question; this is the correct one.
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing on behalf of my friend who is 29 years old. She is divorced from a previous marriage and has one child that is three years old. She is in a bad predicament and needs urgent advice. She has asked me to send you an email to ask if there is a solution to her problem. Her family have been pushing her to marry a guy who proposed to the family some months ago. She met him under supervision, spoke with him, and explained her situation to him but then decided that she did not want to marry him. The family disagreed with her decision and started to put pressure on her. This went on for months, and there was a lot of emotional blackmail. She kept saying no, but they did not agree and kept pushing. There were many arguments, and there were witnesses to these arguments. In the end, she was very confused and depressed, and in order to please her family and stop the arguments, she said yes to the wedding. The day after the wedding, she realised that she had made a big mistake and would regret this decision for the rest of her life. They have been living separately ever since the wedding. She wants to dissolve the marriage since it was forced upon her through emotional and psychological pressure. What does she need to do? She is in a very bad state and may slip into depression. Please advise. Thank you, Zulekha.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
It is not permissible for a wali (legal guardian) to force an adult thayyib (previously-married woman) under his guardianship into a marriage, as we previously highlighted in fatwa 90190. We have also underlined in that fatwa that if such a marriage took place without her consent, then she has the right to accept it or annul it. However, if your friend gave her consent to the marriage contract, as you have mentioned, or showed any sign that can be interpreted as an approval of such a marriage, as is the case if she allowed the husband to have intercourse with her, then she is not entitled to annul the marriage in this case.
The Hanbali scholar Al-Hajjaawi 
wrote, “It is prohibited for the wali to marry her off against her will to an incompetent suitor, and such an act on part of the wali entails declaring him a faasiq (dissolute person). However, her right to choose whether to approve the marriage or annul it is waived by any sign from her, whether it is a word or action, that indicates her consent.”
In case she showed a sign that can be interpreted as approval of that marriage, if she hates her husband, then she is entitled to request a khul’ (i.e. divorce at the instance of the wife in return of consideration payable by her). Please refer to fatwa 89039 about khul’ and the relevant rulings.
If she can possibly accept the man whom her wali approved for her as a husband, then she should do so; hopefully, this may be a reason for earning the blessing of Allaah for this marriage, especially if she accepts whom her father has accepted for her as a husband out of dutifulness towards her father.
Allaah knows best.