Making divorce conditional upon wife bringing anything from her parents' house
18-10-2016 | IslamWeb
Question:
Assalaamu alaykum. My husband dislikes my family. Once, he said while placing his hand on the Quran, "You will be divorced thrice if you bring a needle from your parents to this home." I requested to allow me only as I am their only child. He said, "Ok, only you, not for me and my kids." I once accepted some money from my parents and used it for myself, but someone said that I am divorced. However, I had no intention to disobey as I was allowed to do so by him. Ibn Taymiyyah said that the conditional divorce is not valid in Islam. I asked my husband about his intention and he says that he only wanted to threaten and warn me, not divorce me. Kindly guide me in this regard, and also inform me about my limits in this situation and what I may accept from my parents and what not.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
If your husband intended by this statement to make a promise of divorce and did not intend conditioning the divorce on bringing anything from your parents' house, then divorce does not take effect regardless of whether you brought something from your parents' house for yourself or for your husband, because divorce does not take effect on account of a mere promise of divorce.
However, if his intention was to condition the divorce on a certain action, then the view adopted at Islamweb is that divorce takes effect once the action on which it has been conditioned takes place. This is the view of the majority of the scholars. The criterion in declaring a divorce conditional is the husband's intention while uttering the statement, and not after saying it. If his intention was to prevent you from bringing anything at all from your family (and he conditioned the divorce on that), then divorce takes effect once you bring anything from your family, and his permission after making the oath has no weight in this case. If he meant that you must not bring anything from your parent's house for him and his children (but only for yourself), then divorce does not take effect unless you bring something for him or his children. Please, refer to fatwa 83152.
According to Shaykhul-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah 
divorce does not take effect if the husband broke his oath, but he must pay an expiation (Kaffaarah) for breaking the oath.
As for the gifts offered to you by your family, you have the right to accept them, and your husband has no right to prevent you from accepting their gifts. However, you do not have the right to accept their gifts for your husband or his children except with his permission.
Allaah knows best.