Parents pressuring son to divorce his wife
16-11-2017 | IslamWeb
Question:
Is everything in life predetermined? If someone gets divorced, is that part of their decree/destiny? Even if it is a choice, how is it the woman's fault if her husband's parents are ordering him to divorce her and refuse any reconciliation? The couple has a baby. The girl's family tried endlessly to achieve reconciliation, but the husband's family does not answer the phone or they do not open the door when anyone goes to their house. Once or twice, someone was able to speak to the husband's father, and he insulted the girl and her family and refused citing trivial matters for the break up. From the looks of it, the husband and his family used this girl to obtain legal entry in the USA and then abandoned her and their baby after getting settled. The girl's family also found out from a religious scholar that there was "taweez and "amliyat" done to separate the couple and to keep her husband in the control of his parents. What can be done to break the effects of these (besides Surat Al-Baqara and the 4 Quls)? The girl already reads these and prays 5 times daily. She is very depressed; what can she do about this? What will happen to her and her baby? So was it in the girl's destiny that she would get married to this man and that he would use her and then divorce her and abandon his own baby? What punishment will he get from Allah? What punishment will his parents get for causing this divorce and for going to magicians? They always seemed jealous that their son listened to his wife and took care of her and wanted him to be in their control.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
There is no doubt that everything that happens in the universe comes to pass according to the will and decree of Allah, the Exalted; He says (what means): {Indeed, all things We created with predestination.} [Quran 54:49]
ʻAbdullah ibn ʻUmar, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, "Everything is predetermined, even incapacity and ability." [Muslim]
Hence, predestination encompasses everything, including that a man divorces his wife. Allah, the Almighty, does not ordain anything except for a great wisdom which we might or might not realize. A clear aspect of the divine wisdom in this situation is that it is a test and affliction. If a believer is patient with it, he shall receive the reward, Allah willing. Please refer to fatwa 83577 about the wisdom behind afflictions and the virtue of patience with it.
One of the best remedies for hearts is to be content with what Allah predetermines. Allah, the Exalted, says (what means): {No disaster strikes except by permission of Allah. And whoever believes in Allah - He will guide his heart. And Allah is Knowing of all things.} [Quran 64:11]
It was narrated that ʻAlqamah ibn Waqqaas was asked about this verse and said, "It refers to the man who, when a calamity befalls him, knows that it was predetermined by Allah and, accordingly, he graciously accepts it and submits to the will of Allah." [Al-Bayhaqi: As-Sunan Al-Kubra] Al-Bayhaqi said that this interpretation was narrated on the authority of ʻAbdullah ibn Masʻood, may Allah be pleased with him.
If the parents commanded their son to divorce his wife without a valid reason, then they indeed committed injustice; and injustice will be darknesses (upon its doer) on the Day of Judgment. It is one of the deeds whose retribution will be settled by giving the wronged person some of the rewards of the person who wronged him, or (if he has no rewards) the latter will bear some of the sins of the former. The son is not obliged to obey his parents in this regard. Divorcing his wife is not considered an act of dutifulness to the parents, as we have previously underlined in fatwa 84056.
The person who tried to reconcile between them did well, and the husband's family should not have refused the reconciliation attempt. Allah, the Exalted, says (what means): {And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of the settlement between them - and settlement is best. And present in (human) souls is stinginess. But if you do good and fear Allah - then indeed Allah is ever, with what you do, Acquainted.} [Quran 4:128]
The fact that they have a child is more reason for trying to reconcile between them; the child may be negatively affected by their divorce and end up having a poor upbringing, and the reality best testifies to it.
If it is believed that it is most likely the effect of magic, then Ruqyah (healing through Quranic recitation and supplication) is the best legitimate method of treatment. The Muslim may recite the Ruqyah over himself or go to a Ruqyah-therapist who is believed to be righteous and pious, and he must beware of going to sorcerers and soothsayers. For more benefit, please refer to fatwas 82918 and 89017 about the treatment of envy and the evil eye.
If the item used in making the magic is found, then there are a number of ways to get rid of it, such as erasing the magic spell if it was written, burying it, or burning it and the like.
It should be noted that it is impermissible to accuse someone of practicing magic without evidence. The basic principle is that a Muslim is innocent of whatever is attributed to him; it is impermissible to accuse him of something based on mere assumptions. Allah, the Exalted, says (what means): {O you who have believed, avoid much (negative) assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin...} [Quran 49:12]
If it is proven that they used magic, there is no doubt that it is a tremendous sin that incurs punishment. We do not know of a specific punishment in the Shariah for this sin.
We do not know what will happen to this woman and her child; however, we advise her to make supplicate to Allah frequently and persistently; verily, Allah, the Exalted, answers the supplication of the distressed and removes the harm. He says (what means): {Is He (not best) Who responds to the desperate one when he calls upon Him and removes evil and makes you inheritors of the earth? Is there a deity with Allah? Little do you remember.} [Quran 27:62]
She should also remember Allah, the Exalted, and seek His forgiveness frequently in order to attain serenity and comfort herself. Allah, the Exalted, says (what means): {Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allah. Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured.} [Quran 13:28]
There is no objection that she uses all the legitimate means to reunite with her husband. If her objective is fulfilled, all praise be to Allah; otherwise, she should not pursue the matter any further and, hopefully, Allah will compensate her with a better husband. Allah, the Exalted, says (what means): {But if they separate (by divorce), Allah will enrich each (of them) from His abundance. And ever is Allah Encompassing and Wise.} [Quran 4:130]
Al-Qurtubi, may Allah be pleased with him, commented on this verse, saying, "If the spouses failed to reach a reconciliation and got divorced, then they should place their trust in Allah; He may bless the man with a better wife who would be a comfort to his eye and may bless the woman with a better husband who would provide for her generously." [Al-Jaamiʻ Li-Ahkaam Al-Quran]
We advise her to seek the help of her trustworthy Muslim brothers and righteous Muslim sisters to find her a good husband. There is no harm on the woman in striving to find a good husband, as we have previously underlined in fatwa 82471.
Allah knows best.