Got Pregnant without Husband’s Will So He Refuses to Sustain Her

9-6-2020 | IslamWeb

Question:

Sallam Aleykoum Wa Rahmatullah
I would like to have some advice to give to a coupe. Here is the situation:
The wife got pregnant against her husband will. She was supposed to use some form of contraception. Now the husband made it clear that he won't take into charge any expense related to the future baby. The reason being financial difficulty. The wife also is in financial difficulty and she starts to get in need of money related to the baby.
The relation between the two has not been very nice for some years and the current situation will probably make it worse.
What advice to give both parties to solve the current problem and for a future better relationship.
Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Firstly, the spouses should always be mindful that marriage is a great Islamic ritual and that Allah, The Exalted, has prescribed it to be a source of tranquility for both spouses. He Says (what means): {And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.} [Quran 30:21] Therefore, both spouses should strive towards achieving this noble objective through mutual respect, cooperation, consultation, and similar means that foster intimacy, nurture good companionship, and generate love and affection. Allah, The Exalted, Says (what means): {And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them according to what is reasonable.} [Quran 2:228]

Secondly, one of the main objectives that Satan seeks to achieve is sowing discord between husbands and wives and separating them. It was narrated on the authority of Jaabir may Allaah be pleased with him that the Messenger of Allah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Satan places his throne on the water, and then he sends his troops to people. The closest devil in position to him is the one who causes the most mischief amongst people. One of them (i.e. from his troops) comes to him and says: ‘I did such-and-such.’ Satan responds: ‘You have not done much.’ (This process continues) until one (devil) comes and says: ‘I continued to whisper to him until I made him separate from his wife.’ Thereupon, Satan brings him close to him (another version reads: ‘…and embraces him), saying: ‘Yes! You are the best.’” [Muslim] In doing so, Satan succeeds in destroying the family, incurring loss upon the children and ruining and corrupting their upbringing.

Thirdly, reproduction is a right to both husband and wife, and it is permissible to delay pregnancy temporarily for a valid purpose, but it must be done with the consent of both spouses. If a wife does not approve of delaying the pregnancy and becomes pregnant, she bears no sin nor blame for that. That said, we believe – and Allah Knows best – that there is nothing wrong with delaying pregnancy temporarily due to the difficult financial conditions of the family. However, it is considered the less preferable course of action. Abu Haamid Al-Ghazaali may Allaah have mercy upon him said when mentioning the valid reasons for practicing coitus interruptus : “…Third: the fear of incurring excessive hardship and inconvenience on account of having many children, and shielding oneself against the need for working hard to provide for one’s dependents and having to resort to evil means in the process. Practicing coitus interruptus for that purpose is not forbidden as well because eliminating hardship and inconvenience is a helpful means to preserve one’s religiosity. It is true that what is perfect and more meritorious is to rely on Allah, The Exalted, and place one’s trust in His support; He Says (what means): {And there is no creature on earth but that upon Allah is its provision.} [Quran 11:6] There is no doubt that it is not the perfect and more meritorious thing to do and constitutes leaving out what is better, but we cannot say that considering the consequences, preserving one’s money and saving it are prohibited, although they (seemingly) contradict reliance on Allah!” [End of quote]

Fourthly, it is incumbent on the husband to provide for his child in all cases, and it is impermissible for him to refrain from doing so. It was narrated on the authority of ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr may Allaah be pleased with them that the Messenger of Allah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “It is sufficient a sin for a person to neglect his dependents.” [Abu Daawood]

Fifthly, if her husband refuses to spend on the child and she has access to his property, it is allowable for her to take from it enough money to support him (the child), even without the knowledge of her husband. If she does not have access to his property, she has the right to refer the case to the Muslim judge in a Sharee‘ah-court. It was narrated on the authority of ‘Aa’ishah may Allaah be pleased with her that Hind bint ‘Utbah, may Allaah be pleased with her, the wife of Abu Sufyaan, said to the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) “O Messenger of Allah! Abu Sufyaan is a miserly man, and he does not give me what is sufficient for me and my children except what I take (of his money) without his knowledge.” The Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Take what is sufficient for you and your children, according to what is acceptable (and reasonable).” [Al-Bukhaari]

Allah Knows best.

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