A woman's family are more entitled to give her in marriage
9-3-2011 | IslamWeb
Question:
As-salaamu ‘alaykum
I have met a girl, who is a friend of my sister’s. She is a religious and beautiful woman; and when I asked my sister about her she told me that she was married previously and has a child from her previous husband from whom she was divorced because he fell into many disputes with her family. When I proposed to marry her, her family objected. Frankly, I am determined to marry her. But none of her brothers agreed to be her guardian for marriage because they do not want her to marry anyone other than her close paternal cousin, whom she rejects. She has told me that she could marry me and make one of her distant paternal cousins her guardian. My question is whether or not this is right? What advice do you give me? May Allaah reward you.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
It is narrated, in an authentic Hadeeth (narration), from the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, that he said: "No marriage [is valid] without a guardian [for the woman]." [Ibn Hibbaan and Al-Haakim who authenticated it]
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, further said: "The marriage of any woman who marries without the permission of her guardian is void. If he consummates marriage with her, the dowry becomes hers in return for the sexual intercourse he had with her. If they fall into dispute, then, the ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian." [Abu Daawood, Ahmad, At-Tirmithi, and Ibn Maajah]
The previous Hadeeths indicate that a marriage is not valid without a guardian, and that the woman is not entitled to give herself or any woman in marriage. The person who is most entitled to give a woman in marriage is her father, and his father (her grandfather) up to all levels, then her son and his son (her grandson) down to all levels, then her full brother, then her half brother from the side of her father, then their sons down to all levels, and then her paternal uncles. If the guardianship of the closest one to her lapses, then, the next should succeed him in giving her in marriage, and if the guardianship of them all lapses, in this case the ruler, or the judge who acts on his behalf, should give her in marriage. This is based on the statement of the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam: "then, the ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian."
As the family members of this woman are present, they are more entitled to give her in marriage. It is impermissible for her to choose as her guardian anyone other than them to undertake her wedding contract, nor is it permissible for her fiancé to accept that anyone other than them would undertake her marriage contract, unless it is proven that her guardians are not suitable, due to clear dissoluteness, or that they wish to harm her for personal interests, which might put her in danger of committing fornication/ adultery. This is so particularly if one who is compatible with her in matters of religion has come to marry her, but they reject him for that reason. However, this rarely happens, as we think. So, the question here is open to discussion. However, personal desire for marriage alone is not a reason for either the man or the woman to exceed the limits of Sharee‘ah (Islamic law).
Allaah Knows best.