Seeking Retribution From One's Spouse
30-12-2025 | IslamWeb
Question:
Is a husband allowed to engage in "retribution" against his wife, if so, where is the line where he must stop. For example, if she slaps him, is he allowed to slap her back? Or if she hits his chest hard enough for it to be bruised, is he allowed to bruise her in the chest? Is there a point at which he MUST go before a judge to receive a ruling enabling him then to seek lawful retribution?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad (sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) is His slave and Messenger.
Indeed, Allah the Exalted has commanded each of the spouses to treat the other with kindness and good companionship. Therefore, it is not permissible for either of them to transgress against the other—neither by striking nor by anything less than that.
If an act of transgression does occur, then the requirement of justice is that retaliation be in kind. Allah the Exalted says (what means): {So whoever has assaulted you, then assault him in the same way that he has assaulted you. And fear Allah, and know that Allah is with the righteous.} [Quran 2: 194]
And He says (what means): {And those who, when tyranny strikes them,they defend themselves. And the retribution for an evil act is an evil one like it, but whoever pardons and makes reconciliation his reward is [due] from Allah. Indeed, He does not like wrongdoers. And whoever avenges himself after having been wronged — those have not upon them any cause [for blame].} [Quran 42: 39–41]
However, due to the possibility that exact equivalence may not be achieved in acts such as slapping—because of differences in people’s physical strength—the scholars have differed regarding how justice is to be established in a manner that ensures the wronged person attains his right without transgressing against the offender.
Our advice to both spouses is to fear Allah regarding one another; that the wife should refrain from transgressing against her husband and ask him to forgive her, and that he, in turn, should forgive her.
You may also present your case to a Sharʿī (Islamic) judge—if one is available—or to a body of Muslims that assumes his role in the absence of such a judge.
As for the civil law, we have no knowledge of it.
Allah knows best.