In Dilemma: Married Without Parents' Knowledge and Now They Want Him to Marry Again
13-6-2000 | IslamWeb
Question:
I'm a 29 year-old Muslim man and I'm married to a woman from USA who became Muslim after our marriage and we are blessed by a daughter. My problem is that my parents don't know that I'm married to a foreign woman, which is an unacceptable act in my family. Moreover, law in my country does not allow it. My brothers and sisters know about my marriage. After I finished school and began working for 3 years in my country my parents, insisted that I have to marry now before I get old and they want to see my children before they die. My brothers convinced me to get married to satisfy my parents desire and I agreed. Now I'm facing two problems. First my wife who does not want me to marry another woman and that is why I didn't tell her and if I tell her she might ask for a divorce and take my daughter away and may go back to her original religion since she is a new Muslim. She is waiting for me either to get permission to allow her to go to my country and live with me or I shall move to her country which is something I don't want to do, because I don't want to live in a non-Muslim country. The other is the new girl which my mother has chosen for me that she doesn't know that I'm married, otherwise she won't accept the marriage. My plan is not to tell anyone of them. I need your advice.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
You should have told your parents about your first marriage and should not have accepted to marry the second one. Now that you have done so, we advise you to bring your first wife to your country and do your best to teach her the good religion by enrolling her in Women Dawah Centers to prepare her very well before telling her about your second marriage as this might be shocking for her if she is not well prepared for it. As for your second wife, you might delay telling her about your first marriage if that is possible, otherwise explain to her the situation in which the first marriage took place and your fear for your daughter and for your first wife as she might give up Islam. We advise you not to think about divorce now as it might lead to two bad consequences:
First: Your daughter will have to live among non-Muslims and copy their way of living which is synonymous to depravation and evil.
Second: Your wife might give up Islam. For the above reasons, we advise you to be very cautious and act with wisdom and according to the Sharee’ah.
Allah knows best.