New Muslim wants to know how to meet a man to marry

2-7-2003 | IslamWeb

Question:

I converted to Islam and I think of marrying. Is it possible to meet a brother without Mahram but be accompanied by a friend (female) or a man?

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Answer:

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions. There is no objection to that if the purpose is that each of you wants to know the characteristics and traits of the other in order to decide whether he/she will be a good marriage partner for him/her. But to avoid seclusion, this should be done in the presence of a third person (like a woman or a group of women) if there is no fear of temptation. This also can be done in the presence of a man or a group of men provided there is no fear of temptation. This is the opinion of the majority of the Muslim scholars. This is similar to the story of those who entered the house of Asma Bint Humais (Radiya Allahu Anha) while Abu Bakr (Radiya Allahu Anhu) was on a trip. Abu Bakr disliked that and mentioned it to the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) and said to him: 'I only saw good (nothing bad)'. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "Allah has acquitted her from that" . The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) then stood up on the Minbar and said: "No man should enter the house of a woman whose husband is on a trip except if he (that man) is accompanied by one or two men" [ Al-Bukhari and Muslim ]. Imam Al-Nawawi said: 'the apparent meaning of the Hadith is that it is lawful for the two men and the three men to be in the company of an alien woman. But the most known opinion among the Shafi'e is its unlawfulness. So, the Hadith can be interpreted in the limitation of these men or group of men to those who are pious and would not connive in doing bad because of their piety and their magnanimity' . For more details, please read Fatawa: 82166, 82018 and 83338. Allah knows best.