Compromise is the solution

27-9-2003 | IslamWeb

Question:

I have recently done my marriage contract with someone that I have been engaged to for several years. There were many obstacles in the way of our marriage which is why the engagement lasted so long but al-Hamdu Lillah, finally we got our marriage contract done. He is my paternal cousin but I have grown up and continue to live with my parents outside of our home country. Al-Hamdu Lillah, we are both practicing. It bothers him that I grew up in a European country, which is something that is out of my hands to change. For example, it bothers him that I see it as normal to sit in a cafe and drink coffee! Even if I am with my father! Of course back home I wouldn't even think of sitting in a cafe because the atmosphere is completely different full of smoking and old men playing cards and chess and staring! And anyway I hardly go to cafes. Another issue he has is if I go out with my mother and aunt (mothers sister) and one of her sons is with us! Even if my dad is there he has a problem! This is despite me wearing full Hijab in front of my cousins and I never shake their hands! We have only just done the marriage contract and other than these minor issues we are happy in most other aspects with each other! Please could you tell me if he is correct in his views?

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Answer:

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions. The two matters your husband objects to are: - Sitting in a café to drink coffee, - Going out with your aunt and her son. The details of both matters are as follows: If the café is reserved to ladies only then visiting it is permissible, if it is mixed (with both men and women) then going there is not permitted. Going out inside the city with your aunt and her son while wearing complete Hijab is permissible if there is no fear of temptation; other wise, it is forbidden. However, in all matters you have to obey your husband and he has the right to prevent you from going outside. Allah knows best.