Ask for Divorce If The Situation Does Not Change
18-12-2003 | IslamWeb
Question:
I'm a married woman of 14 years with 6 kids. My husband and I get alone well, but we do have one big problem in the 14 years we have been married he has been having extra marital affairs. He says he can't stop and doesn't know why. I don't know what to do. He has fallen in love a few times with these women. Please help me so angry at this point I don't know what to do I feel like leaving him. He stopped having sex with me. We probably have sex 2 times in a year and it doesn't bother me except that I hear if that happens to you and your husband are already divorced some people tell me is that true.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
If what you mean by “extra marital affairs” is having illegal sex with non-Mahram women, then this is Zina (adultery). In this case, you should talk openly with your husband about these affairs warning him against the Wrath of Allah and the severe punishment that Allah has set for the person who commits a major sin like Zina. Allah Says (what means): {The fornicator does not marry except a [female] fornicator or polytheist, and none marries her except a fornicator or a polytheist, and that has been made unlawful to the believers.} [Quran 24:3]
If your husband responds to your advice and repents, then that is good as Allah accepts the repentance of the person who seeks His forgiveness. Allah Says (what means): {And those who do not invoke with Allah another deity or kill the soul which Allah has forbidden [to be killed], except by right, and do not commit unlawful sexual intercourse. And whoever should do that will meet a penalty. Multiplied for him is the punishment on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein humiliated - Except for those who repent, believe and do righteous work. For them Allah will replace their evil deeds with good. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful.} [Quran 25: 68-70]
But if he does not respond and keeps behaving as you said, then you have the right to ask him to divorce you. If he refuses, the judge can separate you from him. Know also that divorce does not occur because the husband committed Zina with another woman nor does it occur because he falls short of fulfilling his wife's rights (sex, expenditures, etc). But there is no good in staying with a husband who does not respect Islamic rites and duties and also there is no good in a relation that is built on mistrust, betrayals and conflicts. So, if he persists, then do seek divorce.
Allah knows best.