Obey your father and seek Allah's help

18-7-2004 | IslamWeb

Question:

I have a dilemma; I know this man via my sister in law. He is very good, sweet, kind Muslim man. But I live in Holland and he lives (illegal) in the States. I am going to Morocco this summer and he wants to let his parents meet my parents and ask for my hand. Can my parents not accept this because the man to be is not present but in the US because of his illegal state? The only problem is that he is waiting (for years now) to get a green card. Can my parent's disapprove because of his social status? How else can he ask for my hand while he is so far away from me? I am keeping contact via email/chat and telephone. I know him for 6years now, and I find that someone should take a step/action? Please help me with this dilemma.

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Answer:

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.

Most probably a guardian of a woman always heeds for the benefits of those women who are under his guardianship. Hence, his approval is a compulsory condition for the validity of marriage. Indeed this condition helps gain successful marital life since the guardian is more experienced and has a sight further than the girl.

We think that your guardian has some reservation on this marriage for some problems he perceives and that may prevent you to have a successful life. However, if you are certain that he is a religious man and a suitable match for you then try your best to convince your guardian, if he agrees then Praise be to Allah. If he does not accept then you have to abide by what your father orders and this will be better for you. Make Dua to Allah to grant you a good husband.

Finally we inform you that it is strictly forbidden for a woman to have any kind of relationship with a man alien to her. Therefore, you have to immediately cut off all relations with this man through the net, the phone or any other means.

Allah knows best.