Obsessed with a woman
20-9-2004 | IslamWeb
Question:
I am male, I got married, and in three months we got divorced, because she don't want to live with me, she has love affair with someone after that one of our relation she married got divorced, I love her, she also love with me past 18 months, but she is out of India her family settled Singapore, but we have communication through phone, SMS, mails, etc.
I heard about her she is very bad, she working, she gone out with non-Muslim, because she studied there, but because of my love and I trust my God, she will ok after my love, she will not do, because I can't leave her I loved too much more than everything, I want to marry her, I told my family to marry her but they didn't allow, because she got bad name and she lived with her husband 7 years, after that she got divorced, she don't know about Islaam much, but I teaches her many things to pray, to wear buruka, fasting, everything, she did for my love.
My family didn't allow to marry her, I fight with my family to marry her, I told them will go there to marry I can't live without her, if she did bad wrong I will forgive and pray to go to forgive her, because I loved much, when she is not well, I fasted for her pray for her to relief from that, I want to marry her with my family permission only then only I can keep her happy we can live happy life, we spoke many things about our life, after that we got more problem in our families, she decided to not marry, but befriend, but I want to marry her after problem solve, I didn't tell about my plan I have friend and his friend in Singapore.
When I know he is there and he know about my love, he told me I will help what ever you want, I told many thing to him he will inform me what she is doing, where she is going, he told me lot bad about her, but I didn't trust him, because I love her much more and more, he also know her.
He is very bad guy, drugs, girls, he has lot of connection with some married females he said lot me lot about him, then only I know him he is bad, one of my friend told me he is playing games with you your love why you said him he is not good guy, he want separate you and her......, he said to someone to call and tell her about me bad things
I don't know how there, I heard they are friend now he played game with my love he told about me to her very badly, I am very bad, etc. Now she trusted that, but Allaah know, how I love her, how much I love her, I didn't do anything wrong, now she left from me, she has deep friend with him, I scared about her, because he is bad guy he want only sex, I want to marry her if can't she must have good life and happy life.
She is not trusting us, I told with her with my friends he is bad guy, she is saying I am bad, but Allaah know, I want take away from him.
Please pray for her and Du'aa for her, to keep away from him, I am praying, Du'aa, for her, I kept to neeyath to fast aft this problem solve, I am worrying about lot about her.
Only Allaah can help me, that's way please pray for her, to have good life with good man. My heart and my mind thinking lot about her can't do any work, thinking only her and her life, I want to my soul heart get peaceful please. Allaah please help me, please give her good mind, give her good thinking, take away from him, she must know he is bad, she must know I am true and pure love with her. I am sending 2nd time please put in Fatwa of week.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
First of all, you have to know that marriage is a long journey. Many matters that require wisdom and careful consideration could occur during marriage, therefore they should not be solved with affections, but they require a constructive insight. Islam has urged people to consider religion and good moral standards when seeking a wife. The Prophet 
said: "Choose the religious woman, you will prosper." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] Because the religious woman is expected to preserve the right of her Lord and the right of her husband on her. Therefore, if it is confirmed that this woman is on good moral standards and religion, then try to convince your family about getting married to her. If this is achieved, all Perfect Praise be to Allaah, otherwise you have to stop thinking about her, and repel any thoughts about this matter. Furthermore, it is not permissible for you to establish any relationship with her. By the same token, we remind you that usually the family considers what is more righteous and better for their son. It appears from what you have stated about this woman, that it is more appropriate to stay away from her and stop thinking of getting married to her. She lives far away from you, and you are not sure about her chastity. You have mentioned that she has a relationship with another man; just this fact is enough for fleeing from her. You cannot be sure that if you marry her, her relationship with the other men will stop. Thus, one cannot be safe from the consequences of that. Allaah says (interpretation of meaning): {It may be that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allaah knows but you do not know.}[2:216].
Finally, we draw your attention to two important matters:
Firstly, it is not permissible in principle for a Muslim man to establish an affectionate relationship with a marriageable woman, as that is a cause of temptation. Secondly, saying that you cannot live without her, is just an illusion and not a reality. You lived without knowing her before, and it is not appropriate for a man of sound conscious to be affectionately attached to the love of a woman, whatever her situation is. Moreover, it is not appropriate for a man or a woman to be so attached to anything of this temporary worldly life.
Allaah knows best.