Wants to be a better Muslim
14-7-2005 | IslamWeb
Question:
May Allaah bless you for providing Muslims worldwide with this grand forum. My questions are:
1 .I am a Youngman of 18 and I easily fall prey to reading and washing erotic stuff, I've tried a lot to stop, but all to no avail. Please can you guide me?
2. How can I gain submission in Salat and whilst doing Dhikr?
3. How can I advise my parents if they talk ill about other people in their absence?
4. As an only male child, I have 6 sisters and they take care of the house chores, in what other way can I show my respect and obedience to my parents?
I anticipate reading from you soon.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, we advise you, young man, to fear Allaah and repent to Him from these sins. You should bear in mind that you will stand before Allaah naked on the Day of Judgment that will be equal to five thousand years. Allaah, the Most High, Says (what means): {…And fear Allaah and know that you will meet Him. And give good tidings to the believers.}[Quran 2:223]
Allaah further Says (what means): {And fear a Day when you will be returned to Allaah. Then every soul will be compensated for what it earned, and they will not be wronged [i.e. treated unjustly]}[Quran 2:281]
You should know that enjoying looking at these disgraceful pictures is only for a few minutes. Then you will surely feel depressed, regretful and dishonored due to the impact of the horrible sins you had committed and your face will appear gloomy.
On the other hand, if you repent to Allaah and avoid looking at these pictures, you will surely feel delighted, calm and peaceful in heart. Moreover, Allaah will replace your feeling of depression with a pleasant feeling resulting from performing acts of worship because whoever gives something up for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better.
For more benefit on the conditions of repentance, please refer to Fatwa 87903, and for more benefit on righteousness and steadfastness, please refer to Fataawa 87380 and 89267.
As for your question about reverent submissiveness in both prayer and remembrance of Allaah, then we can assure you that the first step to achieve reverent submissiveness is to give up acts of disobedience, especially the grave major sins, and then to repent to Allaah from both major and minor sins.
For more benefit on how to achieve submissiveness during prayer, please refer to Fataawa 85048 and 82335.
As regards your question about how to stop your parents from backbiting others, then you can do so by advising them wisely and kindly and clarifying to them that backbiting is forbidden and that it has evil consequences in this worldly life and in the Hereafter.
For the best way to deal with parents when they commit sins, please refer to Fatwa 87326.
Also, for the definition of backbiting, its kinds and its ruling, please refer to Fatwa 81748.
As for how to show respect to your parents and how to obey them properly, you can do so in many different ways.
1) You should not raise your voice in the presence of either of them.
2) You should be dutiful to them, treat them kindly and supplicate Allaah to guide them to the right path. The Almighty Allaah Says: (what means): {And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word .And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small."}[Quran 17:23-24]
3) You must also obey them and rush to carry out their demands unless they order you to do something prohibited in which case you are ordered not to obey them.
For more benefit on how to obey and be dutiful towards your parents, please refer to Fatwa 84942 and 86620.
Allaah Knows best.