His father wants him to marry his widowed cousin

22-11-2005 | IslamWeb

Question:

I am from Mali, Africa. I live in USA. My father who is in Mali has said I have to marry my cousin since her husband died. This is not something I want to do. I already have a wife here. This is not something she will agree on either. I am Muslim she is Christian. But we have no problem with this. I will never see this woman for many years. Please tell me if I have to honor this request. If I do I will lose my wife here.
Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

 

It is not an obligation on the son to obey his parents in marrying a woman he does not like. If the parents order their son to marry a specific woman, it is good if he can fulfil their request and be kind and dutiful to them. It is confirmed that the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "The pleasure of Allaah is attained by pleasing parents." [At-Tirmithi] However, if it is not possible for the son to please his parents, then he should be soft in refusing their request and he should try to convince them. If they are convinced, all perfect praise be to Allaah, otherwise he is not sinful for not fulfilling their request.

Finally, the following matters should be noted:

1)     It is not a condition for a husband to seek the consent of his first wife in order for him to marry a second wife.

2)     Even if marrying a Christian woman is permissible, yet there are many disadvantages for such a marriage, the most important of which is that such a woman could influence the belief and conduct of the children.

3)     Residing in a non-Muslim country is a means of temptation, affliction and corruption, so a Muslim should not reside there except for a necessity or a sound religious reason, like for the purpose of calling people to Islam and the like. For more details, please refer to Fatwa 86405.

Allaah Knows best.

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