His wife treats him badly and insists on divorce
4-5-2006 | IslamWeb
Question:
assalamu alaykom.first sorry to write in english but i hope you answer my questions before it is too late.i live in the usa and i married a muslim hispanic lady 5 years ago.she was a divorced with 1 kid.before marriage it happened that i made zina with her,then i married her in a mosque according to shariah.everything was ok until we got a girl .she changed in her behavior .she treat me very bad,she has a tamper and she is very stubborn.we had too many fights after i obliged her to abort.i know i'm not a perfect muslim but she is neither.she quit praying,she does not cover eventhough i tell her to do so.lately she fights a lot on a daily basisand she asks for divorce almost every day.she argue about my job,my treatment to her and she just wanna get out and have the kids.i dont want to divorce her because of my daughter but she push me.life is horrible between us.she works and since she makes more money she treats me bad,i was so patient with her attitude because i wanted to keep the family together but she insists on divorce.her mum and brother are ok even though they are non muslims.i'm really tired and i need your advice.should i be more patient,knowing that she insists on divorce,or should i just look for another muslim lady .i have problem with communication and habits,we don't think the same way.i don't think 1 day she accept to come to my country to live there.please answer my question me before i take any decision.jazakum allahu khairan wassalam.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
If this woman abandoned the prayer as you mentioned and she does not wear Hijab and mistreats you, then she is disobedient to her Lord and negligent about the rights of her husband. So she is a disobedient wife, so you should take the steps which are determined by Allaah in treating a disobedient woman; and this is clarified in Fatwa 89480, so please refer to it.
If she becomes righteous and rectifies herself, then all perfect praise be to Allaah, otherwise it is more appropriate to divorce her as long as she is on this situation, but she has no right in fostering the children as she is a dissolute person. But if you think that you will be patient with her in order to achieve some benefits, like fearing that she will take the children and influence them with regard to their religion and moral conduct, or you fear that she will apostate and so forth, then you may keep her. Anyway, you should balance between the two matters [divorcing her and keeping her].
Finally, the following matters should be noted:
1. Fornication (or adultery) is one of the great major sins, whoever committed it is obliged to repent and avoid any means which may lead him to commit the same sin again.
2. It is permitted in Islam to marry up to four wives, so you are permitted to marry another woman even if you keep this wife, provided you are just between them.
3. Abortion is forbidden either before the soul is breathed into the foetus of after it is breathed according to the most preponderant opinion of the scholars
. Abortion is even more forbidden after the soul is breathed into the foetus. Whoever took part in the process of abortion is obliged to repent. If abortion took place after the soul is breathed into the foetus, the person who carried out the abortion should pay a Diyyah (i.e. blood money), which is one-tenth of the Diyyah of the mother (i.e. 5 camels). The scholars differed in opinion with regard to the obligation of expiating for abortion, but in order to be on the safe side, it is better to pay it.
To conclude, it should be noted that the sin, or the Diyyah, or the expiation are not dropped from the mother just because she was obliged by her husband to do so.
For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 85943 and 85558.
Allaah Knows best.