Can not take care of his mother because of his non-practicing wife
7-9-2006 | IslamWeb
Question:
I have been married for 14 years now & do not have any children. My marriage was arranged by my parents & my only brother & only sister. My father passed away & my mother is living and old. Before my father passed away, he transferred his only property in my mother’s name which, my mother divided it among the three of us and kept nothing for herself. She was living with my older & only brother, who has been divorced. Since his remarriage, my mother has been subjected to ill-treatment by his wife. My older brother’s wife created such an environment that my mother was forced to leave the house and she took refuge in my older & only sister’s house. The irony is that this property belonged to my father where we the children had refuge all the time. Since my return from abroad nearly two years ago, my mother provided me with two apartments. I live on one & survive by collecting the rent from the other. I returned home with no money & do not have any savings. My wife is also a very rude & hot-headed woman and not a practicing Muslim. I feel tormented that my mother can neither live with me nor my brother because of our wives. I visit my mother everyday at my sister's house. I am not at all sound financially. My mother sometimes provides me money or food when she gets a feeling that I am running short. I tried talking to my wife about practicing Islam, three or four times since I started practicing myself 5 yrs ago. She replies that every time I will ask her to practice religion, she will defer it by five years. She also said that it is up to her whether she wants to enter hell or heaven. Very rarely she listens to me or keeps my request. She also feels that Juma prayer & Hajj are one form of Islamic social gathering (nauzubillah). As I am unable to take care of my mother, will I be able to save myself from hell-fire? How severely will I be punished in the hereafter? I also feel that if I can not take care of my mother, then I do not deserve to live anymore.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
First of all, you should know dear brother that a mother has a great right on her children. When the Prophet 
was asked: "Whom among the people deserves my best companionship?, he replied: "Your mother", and he repeated this thrice." [Al-Bukhari].
When the mother reaches old age, the right of taking care of her becomes greater, and being kind to her becomes even more confirmed. Allaah Says (what means): {If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small."} [Quran 17:23-24].
Therefore, we advise you to fear Allaah and not be negligent about your duties towards your mother, and you should not favor your wife over her.
We also advise you to remind your wife of Allaah and that she should be steadfast on His Religion, and remind her about your duties towards your mother. You may use beneficial books and Islamic tapes to achieve this objective. If she becomes righteous, all perfect praise be to Allaah, otherwise, if she refuses to perform her religious requirements and is rude to your mother, then there is no good in keeping a wife who is not religions, who does not have a good moral conduct and who is barren. Rather, it is senseless to keep such a wife.
For more benefit on how to deal with a disobedient wife, please refer to Fataawa 85402 and 89480, and Fataawa 82254 and 84942 on the rights of parents.
Also, it should be noted that denying the obligation of performing Hajj and the obligation of performing the Friday prayer is an act of apostasy which takes a person out of the fold of Islam. Therefore, whoever denies the obligation of Hajj and that of the Friday prayer becomes a non-Muslim even if he was a Muslim beforehand, and becomes an apostate, which in turn, invalidates the marriage contract; for more benefit in this regard, please refer to Fatwa 88845 and 90497.
Finally, for more benefit on a wife who does not perform the prayer and who does not wear Hijab, please refer to Fatwa 83244.
Allaah Knows best.