Kindness at home

Kindness at home

Islam is a beautiful religion, full of wisdom and harmony. If this wonderful religion is followed properly then a typical Muslim would only be a great example to follow. The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) said: "The most perfect believer in faith is the one who is best in moral character..." [At-Tirmithi]

Spreading kindness at home:

'Aa'ishah  may  Allah  be  pleased  with  her said: "The Messenger of Allah  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) said: '"When Allah, The Almighty, Wills some good towards the people of a household, He introduces kindness among them.'" [Ahmad]


According to another report: "When Allah loves the people of a household, He introduces kindness among them." [Ibn Abu Ad-Dunya] In other words, they start to be kind to one another.

This is one of the means of attaining happiness at home, for kindness is very beneficial between the spouses, and with the children, and it brings results that cannot be achieved through harshness, as the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) said: "Allah loves kindness and rewards for it in such a way that He does not reward for harshness or for anything else." [Muslim]

Helping the wife with the housework:

Many men think that housework is beneath them, and some of them think that it will undermine their status and position if they help their wives with this work. The Messenger of Allah  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) however, used to "sew his own clothes, mend his own shoes and do whatever other work men do in their homes." [Ahmad]

This is how 'Aa'ishah  may  Allah  be  pleased  with  her responded when she was asked about what the Messenger of Allah  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) used to do in his house; she desc,ribed what she herself had seen. According to another report, she said: "He  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) was like any other human being; he  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) would clean his clothes, milk his ewe and serve himself." [Ahmad]

She was also asked about what the Messenger of Allah  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) used to do in his house, and she said, "He used to serve his family, then when the time for prayer came, he  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) would go out to pray." [Al-Bukhari]

If we Muslim men were to do likewise nowadays, we would achieve three things:

1. We would be following the example of the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ).

2. We would be helping our wives.

3. We would feel more humble and down to earth.

These narrations should act as a reminder to those men, who demand food instantly from their wives, when the pot is on the stove and the baby is screaming to be fed; they do not pick up the child or wait a little while for the food.

Being affectionate towards and joking with the members of the family:

Showing affection towards one's wife and children is one of the things that lead to creating an atmosphere of happiness and friendliness in the home. Thus the Messenger of Allah  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) advised Jabir  may  Allah  be  pleased  with  him    to marry a virgin, saying, "Why did you not marry a virgin, so you could play with her and she could play with you, and you could make her laugh and she could make you laugh?" [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) also said: "Everything in which Allah's name is not mentioned is idleness and play, except for four things: a man playing with his wife..." [An-Nasa'ee]

The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) used to treat his wife 'Aa'ishah  may  Allah  be  pleased  with  her affectionately when performing Ghusl (ritual bath) with her, as she said: "The Messenger of Allah  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) and I used to perform Ghusl together from one vessel, and he  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) would playfully pretend to take all the water so that I would say, 'Leave some for me, leave some for me.'" [Muslim]


The ways in which the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) showed affection towards young children are too famous to need mentioning. He  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) often used to show his affection towards his grandchildren Hasan and Husayn  may  Allah  be  pleased  with  them. This is probably one of the reasons why the children used to rejoice when he  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) came back from traveling; they would rush to welcome him, as reported in the following authentic narration: "Whenever he  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) came back from a journey, the children of his household would be taken out to meet him." He  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) used to hug them close to him, as 'Abdullah Ibn Ja'far  may  Allah  be  pleased  with  him said: "Whenever the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) came back from a journey, we would be taken out to meet him (to the boundaries of Madeenah). One day we met him, Hasan, Husayn and I. He  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) carried one of us in front of him (on his animal), and another on his back, until we entered Madeenah." [Muslim]


Compare this with the situation in some miserable homes where there is no joking or playing, affection or mercy among its members. Whoever thinks that kissing his children goes against the dignity of fatherhood should read the following narration reported from Abu Hurayrah who said:


"The Messenger of Allah  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) kissed Al-Hasan Ibn 'Ali  may  Allah  be  pleased  with  them and Al-Aqra' Ibn Habis Al-Tameemi was sitting with him. Al-Aqra' said: 'I have ten children and I have never kissed any one of them.' The Messenger of Allah  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) looked at him and said: 'The one who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.'" [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

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